Sandra Belloni (originally Emilia in England) — CompleteMeredith, George
General
Sandra Belloni (originally Emilia in England) — Complete
Meredith, George
English fiction -- 19th century
His caress had implied mercy to Emilia: for she could not reconcile it
with the rejection of the petition of her soul. She was now a little
bewildered to see him trotting the room, frowning and blinking, and
feeling at one wrist, at momentary pauses, all his words being: “Let's
be quiet. Let's be good. Let's go to bed, and say our prayers;” mingled
with short ejaculations.
“I may say,” she intercepted him, “I may tell my dear lover that you
bless us both, and that we are to live. Oh, speak! sir! let me hear
you!”
“Let's go to bed,” iterated Mr. Pole. “Come, candles! do light them. In
God's name! light candles. And let's be off and say our prayers.”
“You consent, sir?”
“What's that your heart does?” Mr. Pole stopped to enquire; adding:
“There, don't tell me. You've played the devil with mine. Who'd ever
have made me believe that I should feel more at ease running up and down
the room, than seated in my arm-chair! Among the wonders of the world,
that!”
Emilia put up her lips to kiss him, as he passed her. There was
something deliciously soothing and haven-like to him in the aspect of
her calmness.
“Now, you'll be a good girl,” said he, when he had taken her salute.
“And you,” she rejoined, “will be happier!”
His voice dropped. “If you go on like this, you've done for me!”
But she could make no guess at any tragic meaning in his words. “My
father--let me call you so!”
“Will you see that you can't have him?” he stamped the syllables into
her ears: and, with a notion of there being a foreign element about her,
repeated:--“No!--not have him!--not yours!--somebody else's!”
This was clear enough.
“Only you can separate us,” said Emilia, with a brow levelled intently.
“Well, and I--” Mr. Pole was pursuing in the gusty energy of his
previous explanation. His eyes met Emilia's, gravely widening. “I--I'm
very sorry,” he broke down: “upon my soul, I am!”
The old man went to the mantel-piece and leaned his elbow before the
glass.
Emilia's bosom began to rise again.
She was startled to hear him laugh. A slight melancholy little burst;
and then a louder one, followed by a full-toned laughter that fell short
and showed the heart was not in it.
“That boy Braintop! What fun it was!” he said, looking all the while
into the glass. “Why can't we live in peace, and without bother! Is your
candle alight, my dear?”
Emilia now thought that he was practising evasion.
“I will light it,” she said.
Mr. Pole gave a wearied sigh. His head being still turned to the glass,
he listened with a shrouded face for her movements: saying, “Good night;
good night; I'll light my own. There's a dear!”
A shouting was in his ears, which seemed to syllable distinctly: “If she
goes at once, I'm safe.”
The sight of pain at all was intolerable to him; but he had a prophetic
physical warning now that to witness pain inflicted by himself would be
more than he could endure.
Emilia breathed a low, “Good night.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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