Sandra Belloni (originally Emilia in England) — CompleteMeredith, George
General
Sandra Belloni (originally Emilia in England) — Complete
Meredith, George
English fiction -- 19th century
“Good night, my love--all right to-morrow!” he replied briskly; and
remorse touching his kind heart as the music of her 'good night'
penetrated to it by thrilling avenues, he added injudiciously: “Don't
fret. We'll see what we can do. Soon make matters comfortable.”
“I love you, and I know you will not stab me,” she answered.
“No; certainly not,” said Mr. Pole, still keeping his back to her.
Struck with a sudden anticipating fear of having to go through this
scene on the morrow, he continued: “No misunderstands, mind! Wilfrid's
done with.”
There was a silence. He trusted she might be gone. Turning round, he
faced her; the light of the candle throwing her pale visage into ghostly
relief.
“Where is sleep for you if you part us?”
Mr. Pole flung up his arms. “I insist upon your going to bed. Why
shouldn't I sleep? Child's folly!”
Though he spoke so, his brain was in strings to his timorous ticking
nerves; and he thought that it would be well to propitiate her and get
her to utter some words that would not haunt his pillow.
“My dear girl! it's not my doing. I like you. I wish you well and happy.
Very fond of you;--blame circumstances, not me.” Then he murmured: “Are
black spots on the eyelids a bad sign? I see big flakes of soot falling
in a dark room.”
Emilia's mated look fleeted. “You come between us, sir, because I have
no money?”
“I tell you it's the boy's only chance to make his hit now.” Mr. Pole
stamped his foot angrily.
“And you make my Cornelia marry, though she loves another, as Wilfrid
loves me, and if they do not obey you they are to be beggars! Is it you
who can pray? Can you ever have good dreams? I saved my father from the
sin, by leaving him. He wished to sell me. But my poor father had no
money at all, and I can pardon him. Money was a bright thing to him:
like other things to us. Mr. Pole! What will any one say for you!”
The unhappy merchant had made vehement efforts to perplex his hearing,
that her words might be empty and not future dragons round his couch.
He was looking forward to a night of sleep as a cure for the evil
sensations besetting him--his only chance. The chance was going; and
with the knowledge that it was unjustly torn from him--this one gleam of
clear reason in his brain undimmed by the irritable storm which plucked
him down--he cried out, to clear himself:--
“They are beggars, both, and all, if they don't marry before two months
are out. I'm a beggar then. I'm ruined. I shan't have a penny. I'm in
a workhouse. They are in good homes. They are safe, and thank their old
father. Now, then; now. Shall I sleep?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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