"He was the firrst to be soft."
"I say, ma'am, for his sake--"
"An' it's for his sake. And weak as he is on 's legs, poor fells; which
marr'ge 'll cure, bein' a certain rem'dy."
"Mrs. Chump! I beg you to listen."
"Mr. Wilfrud! and I can see too, and it's three weeks and ye kissed
little Belloni in the passage, outside this vary door, and out in the
garden."
The blow was entirely unexpected, and took Wilfrid's breath, so that he
was not ready for his turn in this singular piece of harmony.
"Ye did!" Mrs. Chump rejoiced to behold how her chance spark kindled
flame in his cheeks. "It's pos'tuv ye did. And ye're the best blusher
of the two, my dear; and no shame to ye, though it is a garl's business.
That little Belloni takes to 't like milk; but you--"
Wilfrid strode up to her, saying imperiously, "I tell you to listen!"
She succumbed at once to a show of physical ascendency, murmuring, "It's
sure he was seen kissin' of her twice, and mayhap more; and hearty smacks
of the lips, too--likin' it."
The ladies rewarded Wilfrid for his service to their cause by absolutely
hearing nothing--a feat women can be capable of.
Wilfrid, however, was angered by the absurdity of the charge and the
scene, and also by the profane touch on Emilia's name.
"I must tell you, ma'am, that for my father's sake I must desire you to
quit this--you will see the advisability of quitting this house for a
time."
"Pole's promus! Pole's promus!" Mrs. Chump wailed again.
"Will you give me your assurance now that you will go, to be our guest
again subsequently?"
"In writin' and in words, Mr. Wilfrud!"
"Answer me, ma'am."
"I will, Mr. Wilfrud; and Mr. Braintop's a witness, knowin' the nature of
an oath. There naver was a more sacrud promus. Says Pole, 'Martha--'"
Wilfrid changed his tactics. Sitting down by her side, he said: "I am
sure you have an affection for my father."
"I'm the most lovin' woman, my dear! If it wasn't for my vartue I don't
know what'd become o' me. Ye could ask Chump, if he wasn't in his grave,
poor fella! I'll be cryin' like a squeezed orr'nge presently. What with
Chump and Pole, two's too many for a melanch'ly woman."
"You have an affection for my father I know, ma'am. Now, see! he's ill.
If you press him to do what we certainly resist, you endanger his life."
Mrs. Chump started back from the man who bewildered her brain without
stifling her sense of justice. She knew that there was another way of
putting the case, whereby she was not stuck in the criminal box; but the
knowledge groped about blindly, and finding herself there, Mrs. Chump
lost all idea of a counter-accusation, and resorted to wriggling and
cajolery. "Ah! ye look sweeter when ye're kissin' us, Mr. Wilfrud; and I
wonder where the little Belloni has got to!"
"Tell me, that there maybe no misunderstanding." Wilfrid again tried to
fix her.
"A rosy rosy fresh bit of a mouth she's got! and pouts ut!"
Wilfrid took her hand. "Answer me."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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