such a sentimental halo round the 'sacredness of her pledged word,' that
Emilia could not resist a superstitious notion about it, and about what
the breaking of it would imply. Georgiana had removed her down to
Monmouth to be out of his way. A constant flight of letters pursued them
both, for Wilfrid was far too clever to allow letters in his hand-writing
to come for one alone of two women shut up in a country-house together.
He saw how the letterless one would sit speculating shrewdly and
spitefully; so he was careful to amuse his mystified Dragon, while he
drew nearer and nearer to his gold apple. Another object was, that by
getting Georgiana to consent to become in part his confidante, he made it
almost a point of honour for her to be secret with Lady Charlotte.
At last a morning came with no Brookfield letter for either of them. The
letters stopped from that time. It was almost as if a great buzzing had
ceased in Emilia's ears, and she now heard her own sensations clearly.
To Georgiana's surprise, she manifested no apprehension or regret. "Or
else," the lady thought, "she wears a mask to me;" and certainly it was a
pale face that Emilia was beginning to wear. At last came April and its
wild morning. No little female hypocrisies passed between them when they
met; they shook hands at arm's length by the breakfast-table. Then
Emilia said: "I am ready to go to Italy: I will go at once."
Georgiana looked straight at her, thinking: "This is a fit of indignation
with Wilfrid." She answered: "Italy! I fancied you had forgotten there
was such a country."
"I don't forget my country and my friends," said Emilia,
"At least, I must ask the ground of so unexpected a resolution," was
rejoined.
"Do you remember what Merthyr wrote in his letter from Arona? How long
it takes to understand the meaning of some, words! He says that I should
not follow an impulse that is not the impulse of all my nature--myself
altogether. Yes! I know what that means now. And he tells me that my
life is worth more than to be bound to the pledge of a silly moment. It
is! He, Georgey, unkind that you are!--he does not distrust me; but
always advises and helps me: Merthyr waits for me. I cannot be instantly
ready for every meaning in the world. What I want to do, is to see
Wilfrid: if not, I will write to him. I will tell him that I intend to
break my promise."
A light of unaffected pride shone from the girl's face, as she threw down
this gauntlet to sentimentalism.
"And if he objects?" said Georgiana.
"If he objects, what can happen? If he objects by letter, I am gone. I
shall not write for permission. I shall write what my will is. If I see
him, and he objects, I can look into his eyes and say what I think right.
Why, I have lived like a frozen thing ever since I gave him my word. I
have felt at times like a snake hissing at my folly. I think I have felt
something like men when they swear."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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