Now the chief, if not the only, reason why this part of the supreme act of married life is not always preluded in this way is found in the _false view_ of what the _marriage ceremony means_, and a wrong impression as to what it confers upon the parties who say "yes" to its prescriptions. That is, the common idea is, that the taking of "marriage vows" bestows certain _rights_ and imposes certain _duties_ upon the new husband and wife. It is thought that such ceremony makes certain acts _right_ which would _otherwise_ be _wrong_, and that it establishes the _right_ to engage in such acts, _with or without any further consultation or consent in the premises_. It makes love a matter of _contract_, a something _bound by promise and pledge rather than a free and unfettered effusion of the soul_. The result of this is that, whereas, before the marriage ceremony both the man and woman take the utmost care to do everything in their power to increase, magnify, and retain each other's love, after they have been granted a "license," and the minister has put their hands together and prayed over them--after this, they both think they have a "_cinch_" on each other, that they are bound together by a bond that cannot be broken, a tie so strong that it will need no further looking after, but which will "stay put" of its own accord, and which may therefore be let to shift for itself from the hour of its pronouncement! Nothing _could be further from the truth than this is_. And yet it is a common feeling and belief among young married people! Nor is it any wonder that this should be so. The very form of the marriage ceremony and contract tends to make it so. The fact that marriage originated as a form of slavery, and that much of its original status yet remains--all these things tend to establish these wrong ideas regarding the estate, in the minds of the parties to it. Nor are the evils that come from such wrong view of marriage all confined to one side of the house. On the contrary, they are about evenly divided between husbands and wives, witness a few illustrations, as follows: A couple had been married about a year. They had no children, nor were there prospects of any. The husband was beginning to spend his evenings away from home, leaving his wife alone. One evening, as he was making ready to go out, his wife said: "What makes you go out evenings now, and leave me alone! You didn't use to do it!" And the husband replied: "Why, you don't do anything to make it interesting for me now! You used to put on your prettiest clothes when I came to see you, fixed up your hair bewitchingly, had a smile for me that wouldn't come off, would sing for me, read to me, sit on my lap and pet me and kiss me, and now you never do anything of the kind." And before he could say more, the wife responded: "_Oh, but we are married now, and it's your duty to stay with me!_"