Now many young husbands, and some young wives, are wholly ignorant of the _existence_ of the hymen, and of the troubles it may cause at the second part of the sexual act, in a first meeting. This membrane is often quite tough and strong. It is grown fast to the lower part of the clitoris and to the inside surfaces of the smaller lips, and it covers so much of the vaginal opening that it is practically impossible for the erect penis to enter the vagina so long as it is present. Now if, under these conditions, the bride and groom (especially the latter) are ignorant of the real construction of the parts, and so should try to make a union of the organs, they would find such union obstructed, if not impossible; and if the man, puzzled, and impatient, and passion-driven, should _force_ a hasty entrance into the vagina, rupturing the hymen ruthlessly, he would hurt the woman cruelly, probably cause her to _bleed_ freely from the wounded parts, and shock her seriously! All of which would be a score against the husband, would brand him as a brute, or a bungler, and so tend to make his "sun-aimed arrow alight in the mud." The thing to do here, is, first of all, to know the situation and to talk it over, and carefully, delicately, do the best that can be done about it. If the conditions are fully understood by the bride and groom, they can, in almost every case, by working and moving together carefully, overcome the obstacle, remove the hymen with little or no pain or loss of blood. As a matter of fact, when the time for meeting comes, if all the facts are known, and the husband will hold his erect penis still and steady against the hymen, the bride will so press against it, and "wiggle around" it, that _by her own motions_, she will break the membrane and so be rid of it. She knows how much pain she can endure, and when the pressure is too hard she can relieve it by her own action! Anyhow, what is done _she does_ herself, and so can never charge up against her husband! It is a rare case in which, by mutual willingness, and desire and mutual effort to remove the obstruction, it cannot be eliminated with satisfaction to both bride and groom. If, however, careful and well-executed efforts fail to remove it, the services of a surgeon should be procured, and he, by a very simple and almost painless operation, can remove the difficulty. But never, _no never_, should it be brutally torn away by the force of the husband, and without the full willingness of the wife. _Mark this well_. As a matter of fact, the wise and practical thing for every bride to do, would be to go to a surgeon a few days before her wedding, and have him remove the hymen for her. Such operation is nearly painless, and is very easily done. Still, to do this might raise a doubt of virginity on the part of the husband and so this is a point to be careful about!