It is indeed a very great misery to live on in this evil world where our enemies are ever at our gate, and where we can neither eat nor sleep in peace, but are compelled to have our armour on night and day. There is no rest here, nor happiness, nor will be till we are with the Everlastingly Blessed. As I write I am seized with terror, lest I should never escape this sinful life. Pray for me, my daughters, that Christ may ever live in me: for, otherwise, what security can there be for such as I am, who have been so wicked. You may sometimes have thought, my daughters, that those to whom the Lord particularly communicates Himself, will be henceforth secure of enjoying Him for ever, and that they will have no need to fear or bewail their former sins. But this is a great mistake. Sorrow for sin increases in proportion as more and more grace is received from God. And I, for my part, believe, that this bitter sorrow will never leave us till we come where neither sin nor anything else will ever disquiet us. True, both past sin, and present sinfulness, affect us more at one time than at another; and, likewise, in a different manner. I know one who often wishes for death, that she may be freed from the torment of her sinful heart. No one's sins can equal hers, because there can be no one who has obtained such favours of her God. Her fear is not so much of hell, as that she should so grieve God's Holy Spirit, that He will be wearied out, and will forsake her, and leave her in her sins. This fear and pain is not at all eased by believing that her past sins have all been forgiven and forgotten of God. Nay, her fear and pain but increase by seeing such mercy extended toward a woman who deserves nothing but hell. ON LEARNING AND INTELLECT I always had a great respect and affection for intellectual and learned men. It is my experience that all who intend to be true Christians will do well to treat with men of mind and books about their souls. The more learning our preachers and pastors have the better. For if they have not much experience themselves, yet they know the Scriptures and the recorded experiences of the saints better than we do. The devil is exceedingly afraid of learning, especially where it is accompanied with humility and virtue. For my own part, I bless God continually, and we women, and all such as are not ourselves intellectual or learned, are always to give God infinite thanks that there are some men in the world who take such great pains to attain to that knowledge which we need but do not possess. And it delights me to see men taking the immense trouble they do take to bring me so much profit, and that without any trouble to me. I have only to sit still and hear them. I have only to come and ask them a question. Let us pray for our teachers, for what would we do without them. I beseech the Lord to bless our teachers, that they may be more and more a blessing to us.