Satiro-Mastix; or, the Vntrussing of the Humorous PoetDekker, Thomas
General
Satiro-Mastix; or, the Vntrussing of the Humorous Poet
Dekker, Thomas
Jonson, Ben, 1573?-1637
_Tuc._ His wittes are somewhat hard bound: the Puncke his |645|
Muse has sore labour ere the whoore bee deliuered: the poore
saffron-cheeke Sun-burnt Gipsie wantes Phisicke; giue the hungrie-face
pudding-pye-eater ten Pilles: ten shillings my faire Angelica, they’l
make his Muse as yare as a tumbler.
_Blu._ He shall not want for money if heele write.
|650| _Tuc._ Goe by Ieronimo, goe by; and heere, drop the ten shillings
into this Bason; doe, drop, when Iacke? hee shall call me his Mæcenas:
besides, Ile dam vp’s Ouen-mouth for rayling at’s: So, ist right Iacke?
ist sterling? fall off now to the vanward of yonder foure Stinkers, and
aske alowde if wee shall goe? the |655| Knight shall defray Iacke, the
Knight when it comes to _Summa totalis_, the Knyght, the Knight.--
_Blu._ Well Gentlemen, we’ll leaue you, shall we goe Captaine? good
Horrace make some hast.
_Hor._ Ile put on wings.
|660| _Asin._ I neuer sawe mine Ingle so dasht in my life before.
_Cris._ Yes once Asinius.
_Asi._ Mas you say true, hee was dasht worse once going (in a rainy
day) with a speech to’th Tilt-yard, by Gods lyd has call’d him names, a
dog would not put vp, that had any discreation.
|665| _Tuc._ Holde, holde vp thy hand, I ha seene the day thou didst
not scorne to holde vp thy golles: ther’s a Souldiers Spur-royall,
twelue pence: Stay, because I know thou canst not write without
quick-siluer; vp agen, this goll agen, I giue thee double presse-money:
Stay, because I know thou hast a noble head, ile deuide |670| my
Crowne, ô royall Porrex, ther’s a teston more; goe, thou and thy Muse
munch, doe, munch; come my deare Mandrake, if Skeldring fall not
to decay, thou shalt florish: farewell my sweet _Amadis de Gaule_,
farewell.
_Hor._ Deare Captaine.
|675| _Tuc._ Come Iacke.
_Dem._ Nay Captaine stay, we are of your band.
_Tuc._ March faire then.
_Cri._ Horace farewell, adue Asinius.
_Exeunt._
_Asi._ Ningle lets goe to some Tauerne, and dine together, for |680| my
stomache rises at this scuruy leather Captaine.
_Hor._ No, they haue choakt me with mine owne disgrace,
Which (fooles) ile spit againe euen in your face.
_Exeunt._
_Enter_ Sir Quintilian Shorthose, Sir Adam, Sir Vaughan, Mineuer
_with seruingmen_.
|685| _Sir quinti._ Knaues, Varlets, what Lungis, giue me a dozen of
stooles there.
_Sir Vau._ Sesu plesse vs all in our fiue sences a peece, what meane
yee sir Kintilian Sorthose to stand so much on a dozen stooles, heere
be not preeches inuffe to hyde a dozen stooles, |690| vnlesse you wisse
some of vs preake his sinnes.
_Sir quin._ I say sir Vaughan no shinne shal be broken heer; what
lungis, a chayre with a stronge backe, and a soft bellie, great with
childe, with a cushion for this reuerend Lady.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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