Satisfaction Guaranteed By JOY LEACHE Illustrated by GAUGHAN [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from Galaxy Magazine December 1961. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.] Interstellar trouble-shooting is the easiest work there is. All you need is brains, energy--and a steno with nice legs! Andrew Stephens was trying to think of two things at once, and it wasn't working out. An inspirational message (delivered by Crumbly, president of Planetary Promotions, Inc.) was mixing itself up in his mind with the probable difficulties of his first company assignment. He hoped he was thinking, and not worrying. Crumbly said worry was fatal in the promotion business. It was fervor, not fret, Crumbly said, that had made Planetary Promotions, Inc., what it was today. And it was work, not worry, that would make it what it was destined to be tomorrow. Andy Stephens stared at the farthest corner of his office (about four feet from his nose) and sighed. He didn't have a slogan in his body, let alone on (or off) the top of his head. His assignment was an easy one, Crumbly had assured him. Planetary Promotions always started new men off with easy ones. Only fair. Andy squared his narrowish shoulders in as close an imitation of Crumbly's desk-side manner as he could, and picked up the dope sheet. It seemed there was a planet, Felix II, somewhere near the edge of nowhere. It wanted to join the Galactic Federation. A laudable desire, Andy thought, but strictly a political matter, having nothing to do with Planetary Promotions, or Andrew Stephens. However, it also seemed that a planet had to demonstrate that it would be contributing something to the Federation before it was allowed to join. In other words, Andy thought, you have to have something they want, or they won't let you in. A buzzer squawked out of the dun-colored box on his desk. Andy jumped, and flipped the lever. "The bus to the port will be at the door in seven minutes," the grim voice of the Lower Office Co-ordinator told him. "A stenographer will meet you on the ship." "Thank you, Miss Ellis," Andy said meekly. He stuffed the dope sheet into his jacket and left the Main Office for Felix II. * * * * * "Excuse me," said a feminine voice. "Are you with Planetary Promotions?" Andy looked up. A sandy-haired girl with a passable figure and nice legs was looking down at him. "Yes," he said. "I'm Andy Stephens." The girl looked relieved. "I'm Edith Featherpenny from the steno pool," she said. "I was afraid I wouldn't be able to find you." "Sit down," Andy invited.