Business -- Fiction; Extrasolar planets -- Fiction; Human-alien encounters -- Fiction; Love stories; Science fiction; Short stories
Andy also retired from public life, biting his fingernails, an Earther
nervous disorder. Blahrog joined him in the illness, which was new to
Felicians. By the time the answer from Planetary Promotions came it was
the most fashionable habit on the planet, in spite of the fact that
Felicians have extremely tough nails, and a pair of bony ridges rather
than true teeth.
The second message was also direct from Crumbly. It read: "Computer
rates ad campaign at intensity 0.942. P. P. in action by the time you
receive this. Stephens ordered back to Home Office; promoted to first
class."
Four Earth months later, Miss Featherpenny entered Andy's ten by twelve
office, her high heels clicking on the plastic tiles, and laid a
memorandum on the new steel desk.
"They've been admitted," she announced.
"What? Who?" Andy said irritably. There were times when he thought her
position as his private secretary had gone to her head.
"Felix II has been admitted to the Federation. The contract has been
fulfilled." She smiled brightly. "Shall I mark the file closed?"
"Can't yet," Andy said. "Felix II won't be a permanent member of the
Federation until they've been self-supporting for ten years."
"Why?" asked Miss Featherpenny.
"It's a precautionary measure," Andy began to explain. "Oh, let's go
get some lunch and forget Felix II."
"Yes, Mr. Stephens," Miss Featherpenny said meekly.
He followed her out the door, admiring the effect of her plastic skirt.
She did have nice legs....
* * * * *
Three years later, Edith Featherpenny was forced to remember Felix II.
There was a communication on her mock-baroque desk. Felician shoes
weren't selling. Felix II wasn't making enough money. The Galactic
Federation was threatening to take steps.
She glanced at the impressive door to the inner office. Andy, she knew,
was engaged in reading a letter from his brother Lloyd, who had just
been promoted to vice-president of Universal Products.
She judiciously forged his initials on an order to put data on the
Felix II failure through the computer.
In an hour and a half she had the answer. The Felicians hadn't changed
the styles, and their shoes didn't wear out. Everybody had a pair.
She considered the door again. There was really little sense in
disturbing Andy over such a simple matter. She forged his name on a
message to Blahrog. "Change the styles of your shoes."
She then picked up some carefully selected problem sheets from the top
of the filing cabinet, and went through the impressive door.
The next morning, Blahrog's answer was on her desk.
"Felician shoes are of the cut most suited to the feet that wear them.
To change them would be both foolish and unethical."
It was a good thing, Miss Featherpenny thought, that Andy was feeling
better today. She went into his office, padding softly over the carpet
to his contemporary prestwood desk.
"Good morning, Edie," Andy said cheerfully. "What happened? Lightning
strike you?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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