Baines, Scattergood (Fictitious character) -- Fiction; New England -- Fiction
"I calc'late on havin' one shortly," said Scattergood, with a twinkle in
his eye, whose meaning was kindly concealed from the five.
"What'll you take not to order any stock?" asked Atwell, abruptly.
"Figger on buyin' me off, eh? Now, neighbors, I've been lookin' for a
place like this, and I calc'late on stayin'. I'm goin' to become
all-fired permanent here."
"Give you a hundred dollars," said Old Man Penny.
"Apiece?" asked Scattergood, and laughed jovially. "It's my busy day,
neighbors. Better call in again."
"What's your figger to pull out now--'fore you're started?"
"Hain't got no figger, but if I had I calc'late it would be about a
thousand dollars."
"Give you two hundred," said Old Man Penny.
Scattergood picked up his mop. "If you fellers really mean business,
talk business. I've figgered my profits in this store, countin' in low
prices, wouldn't be a cent under a couple of thousand the first
year.... And you know it. That's what you're fussin' around here for.
Now fish or git to bait cuttin'."
"Five hundred dollars," said Atwell, and Old Man Penny moaned.
"Tell you what I'll do," said Scattergood. "You men git back here inside
of an hour with seven hundred and fifty _cash_, and lay it in my hand,
and I'll agree not to sell groceries, dry goods, notions, millinery, or
men or women's clothes in this town for a term of twenty year."
They drew off and scolded one another, and glowered at Scattergood, but
came to scratch. "It's jest like robbery," said Old Man Penny,
tremulously.
"Keep your money," retorted Scattergood. "I'm satisfied the way things
is at present."
Within the hour they were back with seven hundred and fifty dollars in
bills, a lawyer, and an agreement, which Scattergood read with minute
attention. It bound him not to sell, barter, trade, exchange, deal, or
in any way to derive a profit from the handling of groceries, dry goods,
notions, millinery, clothing, and gent's furnishings. It contained no
hidden pitfalls, and Scattergood was satisfied. He signed his name and
thrust the roll of bills into his pocket.... Then he picked up his mop
and went to work as hard as ever.
"Say," Old Man Penny said, "what you goin' ahead for? You jest agreed
not to."
"There wasn't nothin' said about moppin'," grinned Scattergood, "and
there wasn't nothin' said about hardware and harness and farm
implements, neither. If you don't b'lieve me, jest read the agreement.
What I'm doin', neighbors, is git this place cleaned out to put in the
finest cash, cut-price, up-to-date hardware store in the state. And
thank you, neighbors. You've done right kindly by a stranger...."
To this point the history of Scattergood Baines has been for the most
part legendary; now we begin to encounter him in the public records, for
deeds, mortgages, and the like begin to appear with his name upon them.
His history becomes authentic.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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