France -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; French fiction -- Translations into English
“By a Captain, in a house of ill-fame,” said the priest, interrupting
the penitent. “I know your origin, and I know that if a being of your
sex can ever be excused for leading a life of shame, it is you, who have
always lacked good examples.”
“Alas! I was never baptized, and have no religious teaching.”
“All may yet be remedied then,” replied the priest, “provided that your
faith, your repentance, are sincere and without ulterior motive.”
“Lucien and God fill my heart,” said she with ingenuous pathos.
“You might have said God and Lucien,” answered the priest, smiling. “You
remind me of the purpose of my visit. Omit nothing that concerns that
young man.”
“You have come from him?” she asked, with a tender look that would have
touched any other priest! “Oh, he thought I should do it!”
“No,” replied the priest; “it is not your death, but your life that we
are interested in. Come, explain your position toward each other.”
“In one word,” said she.
The poor child quaked at the priest’s stern tone, but as a woman quakes
who has long ceased to be surprised at brutality.
“Lucien is Lucien,” said she, “the handsomest young man, the kindest
soul alive; if you know him, my love must seem to you quite natural. I
met him by chance, three months ago, at the Porte-Saint-Martin theatre,
where I went one day when I had leave, for we had a day a week at Madame
Meynardie’s, where I then was. Next day, you understand, I went out
without leave. Love had come into my heart, and had so completely
changed me, that on my return from the theatre I did not know myself:
I had a horror of myself. Lucien would never have known. Instead of
telling him what I was, I gave him my address at these rooms, where a
friend of mine was then living, who was so kind as to give them up to
me. I swear on my sacred word----”
“You must not swear.”
“Is it swearing to give your sacred word?--Well, from that day I have
worked in this room like a lost creature at shirt-making at twenty-eight
sous apiece, so as to live by honest labor. For a month I have had
nothing to eat but potatoes, that I might keep myself a good girl and
worthy of Lucien, who loves me and respects me as a pattern of virtue.
I have made my declaration before the police to recover my rights, and
submitted to two years’ surveillance. They are ready enough to enter
your name on the lists of disgrace, but make every difficulty about
scratching it out again. All I asked of Heaven was to enable me to keep
my resolution.
“I shall be nineteen in the month of April; at my age there is still a
chance. It seems to me that I was never born till three months ago.--I
prayed to God every morning that Lucien might never know what my former
life had been. I bought that Virgin you see there, and I prayed to her
in my own way, for I do not know any prayers; I cannot read nor write,
and I have never been into a church; I have never seen anything of God
excepting in processions, out of curiosity.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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