France -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; French fiction -- Translations into English
“And yet you have not ceased to think of him.”
“That, monsieur, is the only fault I have committed. I think of him
always; and just as you came, I was saying his name to myself.”
“Absence is killing you?”
Esther’s only answer was to hang her head as the sick do who already
scent the breath of the grave.
“If you could see him----?” said he.
“It would be life!” she cried.
“And do you think of him only spiritually?”
“Ah, monsieur, love cannot be dissected!”
“Child of an accursed race! I have done everything to save you; I send
you back to your fate.--You shall see him again.”
“Why insult my happiness? Can I not love Lucien and be virtuous? Am I
not ready to die here for virtue, as I should be ready to die for him?
Am I not dying for these two fanaticisms--for virtue, which was to make
me worthy of him, and for him who flung me into the embrace of virtue?
Yes, and ready to die without seeing him or to live by seeing him. God
is my Judge.”
The color had mounted to her face, her whiteness had recovered its amber
warmth. Esther looked beautiful again.
“The day after that on which you are washed in the waters of baptism you
shall see Lucien once more; and if you think you can live in virtue by
living for him, you shall part no more.”
The priest was obliged to lift up Esther, whose knees failed her; the
poor child dropped as if the ground had slipped from under her feet.
The Abbe seated her on a bench; and when she could speak again she asked
him:
“Why not to-day?”
“Do you want to rob Monseigneur of the triumph of your baptism and
conversion? You are too close to Lucien not to be far from God.”
“Yes, I was not thinking----”
“You will never be of any religion,” said the priest, with a touch of
the deepest irony.
“God is good,” said she; “He can read my heart.”
Conquered by the exquisite artlessness and gestures, Herrera kissed her
on the forehead for the first time.
“Your libertine friends named you well; you would bewitch God the
Father.--A few days more must pass, and then you will both be free.”
“Both!” she echoed in an ecstasy of joy.
This scene, observed from a distance, struck pupils and superiors alike;
they fancied they had looked on at a miracle as they compared Esther
with herself. She was completely changed; she was alive. She reappeared
her natural self, all love, sweet, coquettish, playful, and gay; in
short, it was a resurrection.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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