Humorous stories, English; Sailors -- Fiction; Seafaring life -- Fiction
In the midst of a breathless silence she drew within striking distance,
while her allies, taking up a position on either flank of the enemy,
listened attentively to the instructions of their leader.
“Be careful he doesn’t catch hold of the mops,” said Miss Evans; “but
if he does, the others are to hit him over the head with the handles.
Never mind about hurting him.”
“Take this wheel a minnit, Jack,” said the skipper, pale but
determined.
The mate came forward and took it unwillingly, and the skipper, trying
hard to conceal his trepidation, walked towards Miss Evans and tried to
quell her with his eye. The power of the human eye is notorious, and
Miss Evans showed her sense of the danger she ran by making an
energetic attempt to close the skipper’s with her mop, causing him to
duck with amazing nimbleness. At the same moment another mop loaded
with white paint was pushed into the back of his neck. He turned with a
cry of rage, and then realising the odds against him flung his dignity
to the winds and dodged with the agility of a schoolboy. Through the
galley and round the masts he went with the avenging mops in mad
pursuit, until breathless and exhausted he suddenly sprang on to the
side and climbed frantically into the rigging.
“Coward!” said Miss Evans, shaking her weapon at him.
“Come down,” cried Miss Williams. “Come down like a man.”
“It’s no good wasting time over _him_,” said Miss Evans, after another
vain appeal to the skipper’s manhood. “He’s escaped. Get some more
stuff on your mops.”
The mate, who had been laughing boisterously, checked himself suddenly,
and assumed a gravity of demeanour more in accordance with his
position. The mops were dipped in solemn silence, and Miss Evans
approaching regarded him significantly.
“Now, my dears,” said the mate, waving his hand with a deprecatory
gesture, “don’t be silly.”
“Don’t be _what?_” inquired the sensitive Miss Evans, raising her mop.
“You know what I mean,” said the mate hastily. “I can’t help myself.”
“Well, we’re going to help you,” said Miss Evans. “Turn the ship
round.”
“You obey orders, Jack,” cried the skipper from aloft.
“It’s all very well for you sitting up there in peace and comfort,”
said the mate indignantly. “I’m not going to be tarred to please you.
Come down and take charge of your ship.”
“Do your duty, Jack,” said the skipper, who was polishing his face with
a handkerchief. “They won’t touch you. They daren’t. They’re afraid
to.”
“You’re egging ’em on,” cried the mate wrathfully. “I won’t steer; come
and take it yourself.”
He darted behind the wheel as Miss Evans, who was getting impatient,
made a thrust at him, and then, springing out, gained the side and
rushed up the rigging after his captain. Biddle, who was standing close
by, gazed earnestly at them and took the wheel.
“You won’t hurt old Biddle, I know,” he said, trying to speak
confidently.
“Of course not,” said Miss Evans emphatically.
“Tar don’t hurt,” explained Miss Williams.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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