(Doubtless you recall the quotation.) But you must stay out. Your ticket reads "Personal culture and individual salvation," and it entitles you to ride in any of those second-class cars. You don't like the passengers? I am very sorry, I'm sure, but my instructions are explicit. I was told to keep out all ladies of your kind, who think that the ideal is to be attained by hugging themselves to themselves (excuse the coarseness of the metaphor, madam) all their days in a hot-house atmosphere, and playing bo-peep with their own souls. You intend to write a letter about it to the Boston _Evening_----? Oh, very well. You will have to ride second-class, all the same. Enter a clergyman. This seems more promising. _Clergyman._ Is this the first-class section? I think my seat must be in here. _Philosopher._ First-class here, sir. Tickets, please. (_Aside to correspondent._) A modest gentleman, forsooth. _Clergyman_ (_stops fumbling in his pocket for his tickets and sniffs suspiciously_). I smell tobacco. Is there a smoking-car on the first-class train? _Philosopher._ There is for those who smoke. _Clergyman._ An outrage, sir. An unchristian outrage. I suppose next that you will tell me that intoxicating fluids are sold there. _Philosopher._ Yes, sir, to those who use them. All the first-class passengers understand the use of such things in moderation. They are not injured by them. _Clergyman._ A flimsy argument, sir. Think of the example. I repeat it, sir; think of the example. I protest against it, sir, as a crime against our highest civilization. I--I will have you removed from office. You are not fit to hold your position. I will see the governor about it immediately. I--I---- _Philosopher_ (_to correspondent_). He fancies that he is arguing on the liquor question before a board of police commissioners. (_To clergyman._) The gentleman will come to order. _Clergyman._ I insist on having the smoking and drinking car detached, or I will not ride on the train. _Philosopher._ You will not ride in the first-class portion of it, in any event. Your ticket reads "Well-intentioned but overbearing visionary enthusiast." Come, sir, pass on, or, in spite of your cloth, I shall be obliged to put you in charge of an officer for disturbing the peace. I was interrupted here by my wife, Josephine. "Of course I understand," said she, "that he was very overbearing, and I have heard you say before that clergymen are more apt to lose their temper before committees than most other people. But the poor man was desperately in earnest. The whole thing means so much to him. He believes that the world will never be redeemed until liquor and tobacco are no longer used in it. Do you mean that you really think this will never come to pass?" "Never is a long time, my dear," said I. "But you were discussing the ideal."