The Tales in this Book
HUMIN NATUR' ON THE HAN'BUL 'ND ST. JO.
THE MOTHER IN PARADISE
MR. AND MRS. BLOSSOM
DEATH AND THE SOLDIER
THE 'JININ' FARMS
THE ANGEL AND THE FLOWERS
THE CHILD'S LETTER
THE SINGER MOTHER
THE TWO WIVES
THE WOOING OF MISS WOPPIT
THE TALISMAN
GEORGE'S BIRTHDAY
SWEET-ONE-DARLING AND THE DREAM-FAIRIES
SWEET-ONE-DARLING AND THE MOON-GARDEN
SAMUEL COWLES AND HIS HORSE ROYAL
THE WEREWOLF
A MARVELLOUS INVENTION
THE STORY OF XANTHIPPE
BAKED BEANS AND CULTURE
MLLE. PRUD'HOMME'S BOOK
THE DEMAND FOR CONDENSED MUSIC
LEARNING AND LITERATURE
"DIE WALKUeRE" UND DER BOOMERANGELUNGEN
THE WORKS OF SAPPHO
HUMIN NATUR' ON THE HAN'BUL 'ND ST. JO
Durin' war times the gorillas hed torn up most uv the cypress ties an'
used 'em for kindlin' an' stove wood, an' the result wuz that when the
war wuz over there wuz n't anythink left uv the Han'bul 'nd St. Jo but
the rollin' stock 'nd the two streaks uv rails from one end uv the road
to the other. In the spring uv '67 I hed to go out into Kansas; and
takin' the Han'bul 'nd St. Jo at Palmyry Junction, I wuz n't long in
findin' out that the Han'bul 'nd St. Jo railroad wuz jist about the
wust cast of rollin' prairer I ever struck.
There wuz one bunk left when I boarded the sleepin'-car, and I hed
presence uv mind 'nuff to ketch on to it. It wuz then just about dusk,
an' the nigger that sort uv run things in the car sez to me: "Boss,"
sez he, "I 'll have to get you to please not to snore to-night, but to
be uncommon quiet."
"What for?" sez I. "Hain't I paid my two dollars, an' hain't I
entitled to all the luxuries uv the outfit?"
Then the nigger leant over an' told me that Colonel Elijah Gates, one
uv the directors uv the road, an' the richest man in Marion County, wuz
aboard, an' it wuz one uv the rules uv the company not to do anythink
to bother him or get him to sell his stock.
The nigger pointed out Colonel Gates, 'nd I took a look at him as he
sot readin' the "Palmyry Spectator." He wuz one of our kind uv
people--long, raw-boned, 'nd husky. He looked to be about sixty--may
be not quite on to sixty. He wuz n't bothered with much hair onto his
head, 'nd his beard was shaved, all except two rims or fringes uv it
that ran down the sides uv his face 'nd met underneath his chin. This
fringe filled up his neck so thet he did n't hev to wear no collar, 'nd
he had n't no jewelry about him excep' a big carnelian bosom pin that
hed the picture uv a woman's head on it in white. His specs sot well
down on his nose, 'nd I could see his blue eyes over 'em--small eyes,
but kind ur good-natured. Between his readin' uv his paper 'nd his
eatin' plug terbacker he kep' toler'ble busy till come bedtime. The
rest on us kep' as quiet as we could, for we knew it wuz an honor to
ride in the same sleepin'-car with the richest man in Marion County 'nd
a director uv the Han'bul 'nd St. Jo to boot.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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