At that Three-Fingered Hoover says, "I'll chip into this game, And see if Red Hoss Mountain cannot reconstruct the same. I won't set by an' see the feelin's uv a lady hurt,-- Gol durn a critter, anyhow, that does a woman dirt!" He riz up like a giant in that little painted pen, And stepped upon the platform with the women-folks 'nd men; Across the trough of gaslights he bounded like a deer, An' grabbed Armo an' hove him through the landscape in the rear; And then we seen him shed his hat an' reverently kneel, An' put his strong arms tenderly around the gal Cameel. A-standin' in his stockin' feet, his height wuz six foot three, And a huskier man than Hoover wuz you could not hope to see. He downed Lafe Dawson wrasslin'; and one night I seen him lick Three Cornish miners that come into camp from Roarin' Crick To clean out Casey's restawraw an' do the town, they said. He could whip his weight in wildcats, an' paint whole townships red, But good to helpless folks and weak,--a brave and manly heart A cyclone couldn't phase, but any child could rend apart; Jest like the mountain pine, wich dares the storm that howls along, But rocks the winds uv summer-time, an' sings a soothin' song. "Cameel," sez he, "your record is ag'in you, I'll allow, But, bein' you're a woman, you'll git justice anyhow; So, if you say you're sorry, and intend to travel straight,-- Why, never mind that other chap with which you meant to mate,-- I'll marry you myself, and take you back to-morrow night To the camp on Red Hoss Mountain, where the boys'll treat you white, Where Casey runs a tabble dote, and folks are brave 'nd true, Where there ain't no ancient history to bother me or you, Where there ain't no law but honesty, no evidence but facts, Where between the verdick and the rope there ain't no _onter acts_." I wuz mighty proud of Hoover; but the folks began to shout That the feller was intrudin', and would some one put him out. "Well, no; I reckon not," says I, or words to that effect, Ez I perduced a argument I thought they might respect,-- A long an' harnsome weepon I'd pre-empted when I come Out West (its cartridges wuz big an' juicy ez a plum), Wich, when persented properly, wuz very apt to sway The popular opinion in a most persuasive way. "Well, no; I reckon not," says I; but I didn't say no more, Observin' that there wuz a ginral movement towards the door.