PRINCESS (clapping her hands). Oh, how clever of you! But what do you
want me to do?
WOODCUTTER (pointing). You know the glade over there where the brook
runs through it? Wait for me there.
PRINCESS. I obey my lord's commands.
[She blows him a kiss and runs off
(The WOODCUTTER resumes his work. By and by the RED PRINCE comes
along. He is a--well, you will see for yourself what he is like.)
RED PRINCE. Ah, fellow. . . . Fellow! . . . I said fellow! (Yes, that sort
of man.)
WOODCUTTER (looking up.) Were you speaking to me, my lord?
RED PRINCE. There is no other fellow here that I can see.
(The WOODCUTTER looks round to make sure, peers behind a tree or two,
and comes back to the PRINCE.)
WOODCUTTER. Yes, you must have meant me.
RED PRINCE. Yes, of course I meant you, fellow. Have you seen the
Princess come past this way? I was told she was waiting for me here.
WOODCUTTER. She is not here, my lord. (Looking round to see that they
are alone) My lord, are you one of the Princes who is seeking the hand
of the Princess.
RED PRINCE (complacently). I am, fellow.
WOODCUTTER. His Majesty the King was here a while ago. He is to make
his decision between you this afternoon. (Meaningly) I think I can
help you to be the lucky one, my lord.
RED PRINCE. You suggest that I take an unfair advantage over my
fellow-competitors?
WOODCUTTER. I suggest nothing, my lord. I only say that I can help
you.
RED PRINCE (magnanimously). Well, I will allow you to help me.
WOODCUTTER. Thank you. Then I will give you this advice. If a beggar
woman asks you for a crust of bread this afternoon, remember--it is
the test!
RED PRINCE (staggered). The test! But I haven't _got_ a crust of
bread!
WOODCUTTER. Wait here and I will get you one.
(He goes into the hut)
RED PRINCE (speaking after him as he goes). My good fellow, I am
extremely obliged to you, and if ever I can do anything for you, such
as returning a crust to you of similar size, or even lending you
another slightly smaller one, or---- (The WOODCUTTER comes back with
the crust.) Ah, thank you, my man, thank you.
WOODCUTTER. I would suggest, my lord, that you should take a short
walk in this direction (pointing to the opposite direction to that
which the PRINCESS has taken), and stroll back casually in a few
minutes' time when the Queen is here.
RED PRINCE. Thank you, my man, thank you.
(He puts the crust in his pocket and goes off.) (The WOODCUTTER goes
on with his work. The BLUE PRINCE comes in and stands watching him in
silence for some moments.) WOODCUTTER (looking up). Hullo!
BLUE PRINCE. Hullo!
WOODCUTTER. What do you want?
BLUE PRINCE. The Princess.
WOODCUTTER. She's not here.
BLUE PRINCE. Oh!
(The WOODCUTTER goes on with his work and the PRINCE goes on looking
at him.)
WOODCUTTER (struck with an idea). Are you one of the Princes who is
wooing the Princess?
BLUE PRINCE. Yes.
WOODCUTTER (coming towards him). I believe I could help your Royal
Highness.
BLUE PRINCE. DO.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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