YELLOW PRINCE (gallantly). My poor woman, you are in distress. It
pains me to see it, madam, it pains me terribly. Can it be that you
are hungry? I thought so, I thought so. Give me the great pleasure,
madam, of relieving your hunger. See (holding up his finger), my own
poor meal. Take it! It is yours.
QUEEN (with difficulty). I am not hungry.
YELLOW PRINCE. Ah, madam, I see what it is. You do not wish to deprive
me. You tell yourself, perchance, that it is not fitting that one in
your station of life should partake of the meals of the highly born.
You are not used, you say, to the food of Princes. Your rougher
palate----
QUEEN (hopefully). Did you say food of princes?
YELLOW PRINCE. Where was I, madam? You interrupted me. No matter--eat.
(She takes the scarf and unties the ribbon.) Ah, now I remember. I was
saying that your rougher palate---
QUEEN (discovering the worst). No! No! Not bread!
YELLOW PRINCE. Bread, madam, the staff of life. Come, madam, will you
not eat? (She tries desperately.) What can be more delightful than a
crust of bread by the wayside?
(The QUEEN shrieks and falls back in a swoon. The KING rushes out to
her.)
KING (to YELLOW PRINCE). Quick, quick, find the Princess.
YELLOW PRINCE. The Princess--find the Princess! (He goes vaguely off
and we shall not see him again. But the WOODCUTTER and the PRINCESS do
not need to be found. They are here.)
WOODCUTTER (to PRINCESS). Go to her, but don't show that you know me.
(He goes into the cottage, and the PRINCESS hastens to her father.)
PRINCESS. Father!
KING. Ah, my dear, you're just in time. Your mother---
PRINCESS. My mother?
KING. Yes, yes. A little plan of mine--of hers--your poor mother.
Dear, dear!
PRINCESS. But what's the matter?
KING. She is suffering from a surfeit of bread, and---
(The WOODCUTTER comes up with a flagon of wine)
WOODCUTTER. Poor old woman! She has fainted from exhaustion. Let me
give her some---
QUEEN (shrieking). No, no, not bread! I will _not_ have any more
bread.
WOODCUTTER. Drink this, my poor woman.
QUEEN (opening her eyes). Did you say drink? (She seizes the flagon
and drinks)
PRINCESS. Oh, sir, you have saved my mother's life!
WOODCUTTER. Not at all.
KING. I thank you, my man, I thank you.
QUEEN. My deliverer! Tell me who you are!
PRINCESS. It is my mother, the Queen, who asks you.
WOODCUTTER (amazed, as well he may be). The Queen!
KING. Yes, yes. Certainly, the Queen.
WOODCUTTER (taking off his hat). Pardon, your Majesty. I am a
woodcutter, who lives alone here, far away from courts.
QUEEN. Well, you've got more sense in your head than any of the
Princes that _I've_ seen lately. You'd better come to court.
PRINCESS (shyly). You will be very welcome, sir.
QUEEN. And you'd better marry the Princess.
KING. Isn't that perhaps going a _little_ too far, dear?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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