The playroom of the HUBBARD FAMILY--nine of them. Counting MR. and
MRS. HUBBARD, we realize that there are eleven HUBBARDS in all, and
you would think that one at least of the two people we see in the room
would be a HUBBARD of sorts. But no. The tall manly figure is JAMES,
the HUBBARDS' butler, for the HUBBARDS are able to afford a butler
now. How different from the time when Old Mother Hubbard--called "old"
because she was at least twenty-two, and "mother" because she had a
passion for children--could not even find a bone for her faithful
terrier; but, of course, that was before HENRY went into work. Well,
the tall figure is JAMES, the butler, and the little one is ROSEMARY,
a friend of the HUBBARD FAMILY. ROSEMARY is going in for literature
this afternoon, as it's raining, and JAMES is making her quite
comfortable first with pens and ink and blotting-paper--always so
important when one wants to write. He has even thought of a stick of
violet sealing-wax; after that there can be no excuse.
ROSEMARY. Thank you, James. (She sits down.) If any one calls I am not
at home.
JAMES. Yes, Miss.
ROSEMARY. You may add that I am engaged in writing my
auto--autobiography.
JAMES. Yes, Miss.
ROSEMARY. It's what every one writes, isn't it, James?
JAMES. I believe so, Miss.
ROSEMARY. Thank you. (He goes to the door.) Oh, James?
JAMES. Yes, Miss?
ROSEMARY. What _is_ an autobiography?
JAMES. Well, I couldn't rightly say, Miss--not to explain it properly.
ROSEMARY (dismayed). Oh, James! . . . I thought you knew everything.
JAMES. In the ordinary way, yes, Miss, but every now and then----
ROSEMARY. It's very upsetting.
JAMES. Yes, Miss. . . . How would it be to write a play instead? Very
easy work, they tell me.
ROSEMARY (nodding). Yes, that's much better. I'll write a play. Thank
you, James.
JAMES. Not at all, Miss. [He goes out.
(ROSEMARY bites her pen, and thinks deeply. At last the inspiration
comes.)
ROSEMARY (as she writes). Make-Believe. M-a-k-e hyphen B-e-l---- (she
stops and frowns) Now which way _is_ it? (She tries it on the
blotting-paper) _That_ looks wrong. (She tries it again) So does that.
Oh, dear! (She rings the bell . . . JAMES returns.)
JAMES. Yes, Miss?
ROSEMARY. James, I have decided to call my play Make-Believe.
JAMES. Yes, Miss.
ROSEMARY (carelessly). When you spell "believe," it is "i-e," isn't
it?
JAMES. Yes, Miss.
ROSEMARY. I thought at first it was "e-i."
JAMES. Now you mention it, I think it is, Miss.
ROSEMARY (reproachfully). Oh, James! Aren't you certain?
JAMES. M-a-k-e, make, B-e-l---- (He stops and scratches his whiskers.)
ROSEMARY. Yes. _I_ got as far as that.
JAMES. B-e-l----
ROSEMARY. You see, James, it spoils the play if you have an accident
to the very first word of it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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