ROSEMARY. Thank you, James. . . . Yes, it's a play for Christmas, and it
is called "Make-Believe," and that's all I'm certain about yet, except
that we're all going to be in it.
BERTRAM. Then I vote we have a desert island----
DENNIS. And pirates----
FRANK. And cannibals----
HAROLD (gloatingly). Cannibals eating people--Oo!
CAROLINE (shocked). Harold! How would _you_ like to be eaten by a
cannibal?
DENNIS. Oh, chuck it! How would _you_ like to be a cannibal and have
nobody to eat? (CAROLINE is silent, never having thought of this
before.)
ADA. Let it be a fairy-story, Rosemary, darling. It's so much
_prettier_.
ELSIE. With a lovely princess----
GWENDOLINE. And a humble woodcutter who marries her----
ISABEL (her only contribution). P'itty P'incess.
BERTRAM. Princesses are rot.
ELSIE (with spirit). So are pirates! (Deadlock.)
CAROLINE. _I_ should like something about Father Christmas, and snow,
and waits, and a lovely ball, and everybody getting nice presents and
things.
DENNIS (selfishly, I'm afraid). Bags I all the presents.
(Of course, the others aren't going to have that. They all say so
together.)
ROSEMARY (above the turmoil). James, I _must_ have silence.
JAMES. Silence, all!
ROSEMARY. Thank you. . . . You will be interested to hear that I have
decided to have a Fairy Story _and_ a Desert Island _and_ a Father
Christmas.
ALL. Good! (Or words to that effect)
ROSEMARY (biting her pen). I shall begin with the Fairy Story. (There
is an anxious silence. None of them has ever seen anybody writing a
play before. How does one do it? Alas, ROSEMARY herself doesn't know.
She appeals to JAMES.) James, how _do_ you begin a play? I mean when
you've _got_ the title.
JAMES (a man of genius). Well, Miss Rosemary, seeing that it's to be
called "Make-Believe," why not make-believe as it's written already?
ROSEMARY. What a good idea, James!
JAMES. All that is necessary is for the company to think very hard of
what they want, and--there we are! Saves all the bother of writing and
spelling and what not.
ROSEMARY (admiringly.) James, how clever you are!
JAMES. So-so, Miss Rosemary.
ROSEMARY. Now then, let's all think together. Are you all ready?
ALL. Yes! (They clench their hands.)
ROSEMARY. Then one, two, three--Go!
(They think. . . . The truth is that JAMES, who wasn't really meant to be
in it, thinks too. If there is anything in the play which you don't
like, it is JAMES thinking.)
ACT I.--THE PRINCESS AND THE WOODCUTTER
(The WOODCUTTER is discovered singing at his work, in a glade of the
forest outside his hut. He is tall and strong, and brave and handsome;
all that a woodcutter ought to be. Now it happened that the PRINCESS
was passing, and as soon as his song is finished, sure enough, on she
comes.)
PRINCESS. Good morning, Woodcutter.
WOODCUTTER. Good morning. (But he goes on with his work.)
PRINCESS (after a pause). Good morning, Woodcutter.
WOODCUTTER. Good morning.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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