'I have that which ought to interest you.'--He rose from his kneeling
posture, and appeared to hesitate. 'Alas,' he then added, 'I have many
many faults! I am unstable in wise resolutions; and yielding, as
childhood, to temptation. I wanted a guide, a monitor. I sought one in
the world, and found only tempters. I have quitted the world. I have
chosen my abode in that Ruin. There I would fain learn to amend myself.
I want to learn to be happy. But I come not to that Ruin, to banish you
from this wood. This is your selected spot; and that is mine. Only a few
paces divides them. Yet, if you say it must be so, the distance shall be
as impassable as though entire kingdoms lay between us. Ah, reflect a
moment before your single word forms this immense barrier!--A moment
did I say?--No: reflect a day. Leave me now in silence; and return
to-morrow, the next day, when you will, and then tell me, if you could
not sometimes find me a more sympathizing auditor than trees and marble,
when you would breathe complaint, or utter joy. Go then. But----'
A second time he hesitated; and, when he spoke again, his articulation
was changed from its clear decisive character to a thicker lower
utterance.
'Be aware,' he said, 'that there are certain requisites necessary to
form the utility of my solitude: Uninterrupted retirement, and perfect
secresy.'
Was I unjust, Caroline? but his mention of secresy instantly filled my
mind with a supposition that his words wore one form, and his intentions
another. I warned him to depart. I told him, I despised concealment;
that I had ever scorned to separate my wishes from my acts, or my
actions from my words. I said, his caution pointed out my duty. I bade
him, as I then thought a final adieu.
I proceeded immediately to the library, to relate this conversation to
my uncle. There I was told, that my uncle was gone from the castle, not
to return till four days were past. I then requested to be admitted into
Mrs. Valmont's dressing room, and she received me.
Her conduct disgusted me extremely at the time; and I have since thought
it very extraordinary, that Mrs. Valmont should doubt my veracity.
Scarcely had I described the manner in which the person in the wood
first came to me, than Mrs. Valmont broke my narration by asking me over
and over again, I know not how many times--'Had I indeed seen a hermit
come out of the Ruin?--Was I quite sure I had seen him?--Could it really
be true!' Not disposed to hear such offensive repetitions, I declined
entering any further into the story; and merely said, that, if the
person was a visitor in the castle, it might be proper for her to
signify to him that his intrusion in the Rock and wood would be
displeasing to my uncle, and highly inconvenient to me.
I went to my own apartments.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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