Secret BreadJesse, F. Tennyson (Fryniwyd Tennyson)
General
Secret Bread
Jesse, F. Tennyson (Fryniwyd Tennyson)
Cornwall (England : County) -- Fiction
The ordeal had been too much for Phoebe in her weak condition; she was
never to recover from the terror of that minute or hour when she had
lain and listened, as she thought, and as he had meant her to think, to
Archelaus hanging himself in the passage below. The child, though born
prematurely and for the first few weeks a sickly little creature enough,
gradually strengthened, but Phoebe's life flickered lower each hour.
She did not seem frightened at the approach of death, if she realised
it, which was doubtful. It was as though she had used up all of emotion
before and had no strength left to indulge in any now. That was how
Ishmael too had felt all those first hours after his homecoming; but
with a short spell of heavy, irresistible sleep the power to feel
returned to him, and he was even surprised at the depth to which he felt
a pang. He had not "loved" Phoebe in the sense in which that
much-abused word is generally used; he had felt for her a passion which
was in itself a reaction and an affection which had diminished and not
augmented in their life together. But intimacy and custom go far towards
producing that sense of knowledge of another human being which makes the
imagination translate what the other is suffering into terms of self,
and that is after all the method by which the most vivid human sympathy
is evoked. He felt he knew her so well--her aims and ideas, her likes
and little gusty hates, her sweetnesses and her pettiness--that he
suffered with her now more acutely than she for herself.
Also, as her life drew out, and that feeling of something focussing, of
many tangled threads all being drawn together, which the approach of
death gives, took hold of the watchers, all the external things which go
to make life fell away from him and the stark roots of it stood out.
This had been his mate, this fragile little thing lying there, her
listless eyes not meeting his, her limp fingers not responding to any
touch. She had been nearer to him physically than any other human being,
and that she had been further mentally was swamped in that thought in
the hour when she was dying of the nearness.... For he had the guilty
feeling of the man whose wife dies in childbirth, and though he told
himself that whatever passing brute had wantonly hung the harmless dog
had brought about this tragedy, that could not altogether absolve him.
His poor little Phoebe--he had always known her soft heart for
animals, but even he had not guessed that the tragedy of Wanda would
affect her so--she who had seen so many animals killed with much less
sickening than he himself.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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