Secret BreadJesse, F. Tennyson (Fryniwyd Tennyson)
General
Secret Bread
Jesse, F. Tennyson (Fryniwyd Tennyson)
Cornwall (England : County) -- Fiction
As he sat by the bed there flashed on him an irrational memory of that
day in the field when the girls had found a wounded toad amidst the
oat-sheaves, and how he had come up to them as they clustered round it
in their pale gowns. It had been Blanche who had been most articulate in
her pity, and yet Blanche had not scrupled to hurt him when it suited
her. Phoebe, till these months of irritation and the dislike which had
seemed to spring in her, had never wilfully hurt anyone. He felt he knew
all of Phoebe there had been to know, and his heart softened over her
as she slipped away from any power of his to tell her so.
That flattened little form under the crumpled coverlet was Phoebe's,
was the same body with which she had given him so much delight. This was
the Phoebe who had hung about his neck in the valley and smothered his
words upon his lips with kisses--she who had taught him her own
knowledge of love, that instinctive knowledge of Aspasia and her
sisters; it was through her he had become a man. So he felt now looking
at her.
With dawn, the day after the child's birth, it became plain that she
could hold the frail thread of her life no longer. The nurse sat on one
side of the bed; the doctor had not yet come back after leaving to
attend another case. The child lay beside her, because the only time she
spoke or showed any interest that night she had asked for it. Now she
lay either asleep or already unconscious, her hair all pushed away from
her face, which had fallen into hollows. She looked far older than her
years--older than it would have been possible to imagine she ever could
look.
Ishmael sat very still, his mind as quiescent as his body; it was as
though it had been hypnotised by its steady concentration on her
approaching death as by the steady keeping of the eyes fixed on some one
glittering object. All around that one point thought had ceased;
impalpable walls shut off from consciousness everything else in the
scheme of things. The focussing in the quiet room sharpened, grew more
intense; the liquid light of dawn began to flood the air, and a bright
shaft shot across the hill as the sun swam up over the rim of the moor.
It fell across the bed, and Phoebe stirred and opened her eyes. Their
gaze rested blankly on Ishmael, wandered round the room, then fell to
the round head against her shoulder.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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