The result shows in the character of rulers--Why English kings and princes are superior to the Continental kind--Leopold's awful revenge--Mother acts the tigress--Her mailed fist--"I forbid Your Imperial Highness to see that dog" 27 CHAPTER VIII PLANNING TO GET A HUSBAND FOR ME Dissecting possible wooers at Vienna--Royalty after money, not character--"He is a Cohen, not a Coburg"--Prince who looked like a Jew counter-jumper in his Sunday best--Balkan princes tabooed by Francis Joseph--A good time for the girls--Army men commanded to attend us 35 CHAPTER IX LOVE-MAKING The fascinating Baron--The man's audacity--Putting the question boldly--Real love-making--_Risque_ stories for royalty 41 CHAPTER X MY POPULARITY RENDERS GEORGE DYSPEPTIC The Cudgel-Majesty--Prince George's intrigues--No four-horse coach for Princess--Popular demonstration in my favor--"All-highest" displeasure 45 CHAPTER XI SCOLDED FOR BEING POPULAR Entourage spied upon by George's minions--My husband proves a weakling--I disavow the personal compliment--No more intelligent than a king should be 53 CHAPTER XII ROYAL DISGRACE--LIGHTNING AND SHADOWS Ordered around by the Queen--Give thanks to a bully--Jealous of the "mob's" applause--"The old monkey after '_Hochs_'"--Criticizing the "old man"--Royalty's plea for popularity--Proposed punishments for people refusing to love royalty 57 CHAPTER XIII UNSPEAKABLE LITTLENESSES OF PETTY COURTS Another quarrel with my husband--Personal attendant to a corpse--Killing by pin pricks--The mythical three "_How art thou's?_"--Unwanted sympathy from my inferiors--Pride of the decapitated Queen of France is in me--Lovers not impossible--Court to blame for them--My husband acts cowardly--Brutalizes my household--I lock myself in 63 CHAPTER XIV IMPERIAL RUSSIAN ETHICS TRANSFERRED TO DRESDEN My husband's reported escapade--Did he give diamonds to a dancing girl?--His foolish excuses--"I am your pal"--A restaurant scene in St. Petersburg--The birthday suit 71 CHAPTER XV ROYALTY NOT PRETTY, AND WHY Fecundity royal women's greatest charm--How to have beautiful children 77 CHAPTER XVI MORE JEALOUSIES OF THE GREAT