A royal lady who walks her garden attired in a single diaphanous garment--Won't stand for any meddling--Called impertinent--My virtuous indignation assumed--A flirtation at a distance--An audacious lover--The Grand Mistress hoodwinked--Matrimonial horns for Kaiser--The banished Duke dies--Princes scolded like school-boys 151 CHAPTER XXXIII MELITA'S LOVE AFFAIRS AND MINE The Grand Duchess tells me how she cudgeled George--Living dictaphone employed--Shows him who is mistress of the house--Snaps fingers in Prince George's face--Debate about titles--"A sexless thing of a husband"--Conference between lover and husband--Grand Duke doesn't object to his wife's lover, but lover objects to "his paramour being married" 157 CHAPTER XXXIV MORE ABOUT THE SWEET ROYAL FAMILY LIFE "Closed season" for petty meannesses--A prince who enjoys himself like a pig--Why princes learn trades--A family dinner to the accompaniment of threats and smashing of table--The Duke's widow and children robbed of their inheritance by royal family--King confiscates testament 163 CHAPTER XXXV FLIRTATION DEVELOPS INTO LOVE At the theatre--My adorer must have felt my presence--Forgot his diplomacy--The mute salute--His good looks--His mouth a promise of a thousand sweet kisses--Our love won't be any painted business 169 CHAPTER XXXVI COUNT BIELSK MAKES LOVE TO THE CROWN PRINCESS Fearless to indiscretion--He "thou's" me--Puts all his chances on one card--Proposes a rendezvous--Shall I go or shall I not go?--Peril if I go and peril if I don't 171 CHAPTER XXXVII RAPID LOVE MAKING IN THE BOIS A discreet maid--"Remove thy glove"--Kisses of passion, pure kisses, powerful kisses--I see my lover daily--Countess Barnello offers "doves' nest"--Driving to rendezvous in state--"Naughty Louise," who makes fun of George 177 CHAPTER XXXVIII "IN LOVE THERE ARE NO PRINCESSES, ONLY WOMEN" A diplomatic trick--Jealous of Romano's past--The pact for life and the talisman--If there were a theatre fire the talisman would discover our love to the King--Some ill-natured reflections--Bernhardt's escapades cover up my tracks--The "black sheep" jumps his horse over a coffin--King gives him a beating--Bernhardt's mess-room lingo--Anecdotes of royal voluptuaries--Forces animals to devour each other--Naked ballet-girls as horses--Abnormals rule the world 183 CHAPTER XXXIX MY PUNISHMENT