Produced by Chuck Greif and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This book was produced from scanned images of public domain material from the Google Print project.) SEEING THINGS AT NIGHT BY HEYWOOD BROUN [Illustration: colophon] NEW YORK HARCOURT, BRACE AND COMPANY 1921 COPYRIGHT, 1921, BY HARCOURT, BRACE AND COMPANY, INC. PRINTED IN THE U. S. A. BY THE QUINN & BODEN COMPANY RAHWAY, N. J. TO HEYWOOD BROUN, 3RD Introduction The first difficulty was the title. It was felt that _Seeing Things at Night_ might suggest theatrical essays to the exclusion of anything else. That was not the author's intention. He meant to suggest rather newspaper articles of any sort done more or less on the spur of the moment for next day's consumption. There was also some question as to the order in which the various "pieces" should be arranged. The author was tempted to follow the example of Adolf Wolff, a free verse poet who published a volume some years ago called _Songs, Sighs and Curses_, and explained in a foreword, "When asked in what sequence he would arrange his poems, Wolff threw the manuscripts in the air, saying 'Let Fate decide.' They now appear in the order in which they were picked up from the floor." Broun, however, feared that some of his essays might crash through the floor like the mistakes of a cannonball juggler and that others would prove so lacking in weight when put to the test that it would be necessary to pluck them from the ceiling rather than the floor. The arrangement, therefore, is premeditated though haphazard. In respect to his age the author also wishes to explain that the character, H. 3rd, who appears from time to time is his son and not his grandson. He also wishes to acknowledge the courtesy of _The New York Tribune_, _Vanity Fair_, _McCall's_, _Collier's Weekly_ and _The Nation_ in permitting him to reprint various articles which first appeared in their pages. CONTENTS PAGE INTRODUCTION v THE FIFTY-FIRST DRAGON 3 HOW TO BE A LION TAMER 16 H. G. WELLS OF ENGLAND 24 PROMISES AND CONTRACTS AND CLOCKS 29 ALCOHOLIC LIQUORS 33 SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS ARE YALE MEN 38 BACILLUS AND CIRCUMSTANCE 44 DEATH SAYS IT ISN'T SO 57 THE LIBRARY OF A LOVER 69 A BOLT FROM THE BLUE 73 INASMUCH 77