Almighty _Folly_! How shall I thy praise To Human Understandings raise? What shall I do Thy worth to shew? The Glorious Sun, that rules the Day, Gives vital warmth and life by ev'ry Ray. His Blessings he in common grants, To Hemlock as to nobler Plants; Thy Virtue thou dost circumscribe, And dost dispence Thy influence, But to the Darlings of thy Tribe, Thou Wealth and Honour dost bestow On thy triumphant _Fools_, Whilst abject Sence do's barefoot go; So weak's the Learning of the noisie Schools. IV. Tell me, ye Learned Sots! who spend your time In reading Books, With thoughtful Heads and meagre Looks, To Learnings Pinacle, who climb Through the wild Briers of _Philosophy_, The Thorns of harsh _Philology_, The dirty Road where _Aristotle_ went Encumber'd with a thousand _terms_ Uncouth, Unintelligible, Not by any fancy fathomable, Bringing distracted Minds to harms; The rankest _Hellebore_ cannot prevent. Tell me, I say, ye Learn'd Sots! Did e'r the old or new Philosophy, Make a Man splendid live, or wealthy die? Tho' you may think your Notions truer, They'll ne'r advance your Lotts, To the Estate of Wise Sir _Jonathan_ the Brewer. V. A _Fool_! Heav'ns bless the charming Name, So much admir'd in Ages past, As long as this, and all the World shall last, Shall be the Subject of Triumphing Fame. A _Fool_! what mighty wonders has he wrought? What mighty Actions done? Obey'd by all, controul'd by none; Even _Love_ its self is to its Footstool brought. For t'other day, I met amidst the Throng A Lady wealthy, beautiful and young; _Madam_, said I, I wish you double Joy, Of a ripe Husband and a budding Boy, And with my self a sight of him you Wed, } The happy Part'ner of your Bridal Bed. } Sir, she reply'd, I him in Wedlock had; } Pointing unto an Image by her side, An odder Figure no Man e'r espy'd, Long was his Chin, and carotty his Beard, His Eyes sunk in, and high his Nose was rear'd, A nauseous ugliness possess'd the Tool, And scarce had Wit enough to be a Fool: Bless me (thought I) if Fools such fortune get, Then who (the Devil) wou'd be plagu'd with wit. VI.