On the hillock, amid the stubble, the herdsmen were assembled in
groups, their wallets slung round them; they were crouching on their
heels, had collected dry juniper and lighted a fire; with bits of
sticks they were scraping out the baked potatoes from the ashes. The
rising smoke scented the air fragrantly with juniper.
At times, when he was better and more himself, when the fever tormented
him less, he sank into the state of timidity and apprehension known
only to those harassed almost beyond human endurance and to the dying.
Fear oppressed him till his whole being shrank into something less than
the smallest grain; he was hurled by fearful sounds and overawing
obsessions into a bottomless abyss.
At last the wound on his foot began to heal, and the fever to abate.
His mind returned from that other world to the familiar one, and to
reflecting on what was taking place before his eyes. But the nature of
these reflections had changed. Formerly he had felt self-pity arising
from terror; now it was the wild hatred of the wounded man, his
overpowering desire for revenge; his rage turned as fiercely even upon
the unfortunate ones lying beside him as upon those who had maimed him.
But another idea had taken even more powerfully possession of his mind;
his thoughts darted forward like a pack of hounds on the trail, in
frantic pursuit of the power which had thus passed sentence on him.
This condition of lonely self-torment lasted a long while, and
increased his exasperation.
And then, one day, he noticed that his healthy foot was growing stiff
and the ankle swelling. When the head-surgeon came on his daily rounds,
the patient confided his fear to him. The doctor examined the emaciated
limb, unobserved lanced the abscess, perceived that the probe reached
to the bone, rubbed his hands together and looked into the peasant's
face with a sad, doubtful look.
'This is a bad job, my good fellow. It may mean the other foot; was
that what you were thinking of? And you are a bad subject. But we will
do it for you here; you will be better off than in your cottage, we
will give you plenty to eat.' And he passed on, accompanied by his
assistant. At the door he turned back, bent over the sick man, and
furtively, so that no one should see, passed his hand kindly over his
head.
The peasant's mind became a blank; it was as if someone had unawares
dealt him a blow in the dark with a club. He closed his eyes and lay
still for a long time... until an unknown feeling of calm came over
him.
There is an enchanted, hidden spot in the human soul, fastened with
seven locks, which no one and nothing but that picklock, bitter
adversity, can open.
Through the lips of the self-blinded Oedipus, Sophocles makes mention
of this secret place. Within it are hidden marvellous joy, sweet
necessity, the highest wisdom.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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