One by one I found the "rough-dry" garments, here, there, in the
hallway, in the garret, hanging or crumpled up among dozens of others.
And all the while I hunted, the rain beat and the wind blew, and a low
third sound kept mingling with them, rising from the lower floor. My
heart smote me when I heard it, for I knew it was the woman sobbing. The
self-righteous Pharisee within me gave an impatient sneer: "Alcohol
tears!" But something else clutched at my throat, and I found myself
glancing at the dead man's shoes.
When I went downstairs, I avoided the rocking-chair, tied up my bundle,
counted out the money, laid it on the table, and then turning round
said, deliberately and harshly: "There is your money; don't buy whisky
with it, Mrs. Bossert."
Crying had a little sobered her. She looked up, still with less light in
her face than in an intelligent dog's, but with some dim
self-consciousness. It was as a face that had appeared behind deforming
bubbles of water. She half lifted her hand, let it fall, and stammered,
"No, I won't, I won't. It don't do nobody no good."
The senseless desire to preach seized hold of me. "Mrs. Bossert," I
cried out, "aren't you ashamed of yourself? A woman like you, who went
through so much, and so long, and so bravely! And now, when you could
get along all right, to act like this!"
The soggy mouth dropped open, the glazy eyes stared at me, fixedly and
foolishly, then shifted to the portrait on the wall; and with a mawkish
simper, as of some old drab playing sixteen, she slobbered out, nodding
to the portrait: "All--for the love--o' him."
It was so utterly ludicrous that I laughed. Then a cold rage took me:
"Look here," I said (and again I heard my own voice, grim and quiet,
cutting the air like a whip), "if you believe, as I have heard you say,
that your husband can look down on you from anywhere, remember you
couldn't do a thing to hurt him worse than you're doing now. 'Love'
indeed!"
The lash went home. The stricken figure huddled closer; the voice came
out like a dumb thing's moan: "Oh--I'm all alone."
Then suddenly I understood. I had taken it for mockery, and profanation,
that leering look at the shadow on the wall, that driveling stammer,
"All--for the love--o' him." And it had been a solemn thing! No lover's
word spoken in the morning of youth with the untried day before it,
under the seductive witchery of answering breath and kisses, rushing
blood and throbbing bodies; but the word of a woman bent with service,
seamed with labor, haggard with watching; the word of a woman who, at
the washtub, had kept her sufferer by the work of her hands, and watched
him between the snatches of her sleep. The immemorial passion of a
common heart, that _is_ not much, that _had_ not much, and has lost
all. Years were in it. For years she had had her burden to carry; and
she had carried it to the edge of the grave. There it had fallen from
her, and her arms were empty. Nothing to do any more. Alone.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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