"I am thinking that as I sit here, beloved by you and others who are
young and beautiful--it is no lie--in a--well, in a triumph I have not
sought, but which I am human enough to be glad of, envied no doubt by
those young girls,--I am thinking how the remorseless feet of Youth will
tramp on me soon, and carry you away. And"--very slowly--"in my day of
pain, you will not be near, nor the others. I shall be alone; age and
pain are unlovely."
"You won't let me come near you," he said wildly. "I would do anything
for you. I always want to do things for you to spare you, and you never
let me. When you are in pain you will push me away."
A fairly exultant glitter flashed in her face. "Yes," she said, "I know
my secret. That is how I have stayed young so long. See," she said,
stretching out her arms, "other women at my age are past the love of
men. Their affections have gone to children. And I have broken the law
of nature and prolonged the love of youth because--I have been strong
and stood alone. But there is an end. Things change, seasons change,
you, I, all change; what's the use of saying 'Never--forever,
forever--never,' like the old clock on the stairs? It's a big lie."
"I won't talk any more," he said, "but when the time comes you will
see."
She nodded: "Yes, I will see."
"Do you think all people alike?"
"As like as ants. People are vessels which life fills and breaks, as it
does trees and bees and other sorts of vessels. They play when they are
little, and then they love and then they have children and then they
die. Ants do the same."
"To be sure. But I don't deceive myself as to the scope of it."
The crowd were returning now, and by tacit consent they arose and joined
the group. Down the road they jumped a fence into a field and had to
cross a little stream. "Where is our bridge?" called the boys. "We made
a bridge. Some one has stolen our bridge."
"Oh, come on," cried Davy, "let's jump it." Three ran and sprang; they
landed laughing and taunting the rest. Bernard sought out his beloved.
"Shall I help you over?" he asked.
"No," she said shortly, "help the girls," and brushing past him she
jumped, falling a little short and muddying a foot, but scrambling up
unaided. The rest debated seeking an advantageous point. At last they
found a big stone in the middle, and pulling off his shoes, Bernard
waded in the creek, helping the girls across. The smallest one,
large-eyed and timid, clung to his arm and let him almost carry her
over.
"He does it real natural," observed Davy, who was whisking about in the
daisy field like some flashing butterfly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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