Self and self-management : $b Essays about existingBennett, Arnold
Philosophy
Self and self-management : $b Essays about existing
Bennett, Arnold
Conduct of life
The delusion was nothing but a delusion. Her mind, by a habitual
process, had imagined it, and she had ended by being victimised by
it. She had ended by seriously believing that she was physically and
spiritually dependent upon a factor which had no appreciable power
beyond the power mistakenly and insanely attributed to it by her morbid
imagination.
But, did any one suggest that she ought to be confined in a lunatic
asylum? Assuredly not. If ever she goes to a lunatic asylum it will
be as a visitor, to smile superiorly at the man whose welfare depends
utterly on hot toast. From the moral height of a cigarette she will
pity hot toast.
Far from scheming to get the lady into a lunatic asylum, her hosts were
extraordinarily sympathetic, and even when they were by themselves the
worst thing they said was:
‘Poor thing! She’s rather fussy about cigarettes.’
II
No one, I think, will assert that I have overdrawn the picture of
a person victimised by a delusion and yet not inhabiting a lunatic
asylum. Every one will be able out of his own experience of the world
to match my example with examples of his own. And indeed there are few
of us who are not familiar with at least one example immensely worse
than the lady who staked her daily existence on getting an Egyptian
cigarette in her bath. Few of us have not met the gentleman who can
only be described as ‘the complete fusser.’
This gentleman has slowly convinced himself that the proper fulfilment
of his destiny depends absolutely upon about ten thousand different
things. All things of course have their importance, but this gentleman
attaches a supreme and quite fatal importance to all the ten thousand
things. He begins to be fussy on waking up, and he stops being fussy
when he goes to sleep. He may not smoke a cigarette in his bath, but he
will probably keep a thermometer in his bath because he is convinced
that there is a ‘right’ temperature for the bath-water, and that any
other temperature would impair his efficiency. He may detest smoking,
in which case he will probably have rigid ideas about the precise sort
of woven stuff he must wear next to his skin. He may be almost any
kind of character, and yet be fussy. He may be so tidy that he cannot
exist in a room, either in his own house or in anybody else’s, until he
has been round the walls and made all the pictures exactly horizontal.
He may be so untidy that if his wife privily tidies his desk he is put
off work for the rest of the day. He may be so fond of open air that he
can only sleep with his head out of a window, or so afraid of open air
that a draught deranges all his activities for a fortnight. He may be
so regular that he kisses his wife by the clock, or so irregular that
he is never conscious of appetite until a meal has been going cold for
half an hour. And so on endlessly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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