Great Britain -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Self-control -- Fiction; Women -- Fiction
She might raise a small supply by stripping her beloved Glenalbert of
some of its little luxuries and comforts; but, long before this
revolting business could be transacted, she must be absolutely
pennyless. Nor did she dare, without consulting her father, to give
orders for dismantling his home. And how should she inform him of the
necessity for such a sacrifice? Weakened both in body and in mind, how
would he endure the privations that attend on real penury? His naturally
feeble spirits already crushed to the earth, his kindly temper already,
by anxiety and disappointment, turned to gall, his anxieties for his
child alarmed even to anguish, how could he bear to learn that real want
had reached him--had reached that dear child, whom the dread of leaving
to poverty was poisoning the springs of life within him! 'He thinks he
is about to leave me,' cried she, 'and shall I tell him that I must owe
to charity even the sod that covers him from me? No; I will perish
first,' and, starting from her seat, she paced the room in distressful
meditation on the means of concealing from her father the extent of
their calamity.
She determined to take upon herself the care of their little fund, under
pretence that the trouble was too great for Montreville. He had of late
shewn such listless indifference to all domestic concerns, that she
hoped he might never inquire into the extent of his landlady's demand,
or that his inquiries might be eluded. It seemed a light thing in
Laura's eyes to suffer alone; or rather she thought not of her own
sufferings, could she but spare her father the anguish of knowing
himself and his child utterly destitute. She judged of his feelings by
her own; felt, by sympathy, all the pangs with which he would witness
wants which he could not supply; and she inwardly vowed to conceal from
him every privation that she might endure,--every labour that she might
undergo.
But, void of every resource, far from every friend, destitute amid
boundless wealth, alone amid countless multitudes, whither should she
turn for aid, or even for counsel? 'Whither,' cried she, dropping on her
knees, 'except to Him who hath supplied me in yet more urgent want, who
hath counselled me in yet more fearful difficulty, who hath fed my soul
with angel's food, and guided it with light from heaven?' Laura rose
from her devotions, more confiding in the care of Providence, more able
to consider calmly of improving the means which still remained within
her own power.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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