Self-Help: Sailor's Knots, Part 3.Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
General
Self-Help: Sailor's Knots, Part 3.
Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English
Peter wouldn't believe at fust that the old man wasn't really the worse
for liquor, 'e was so lifelike. Many a drunken man would ha' been proud
to ha' done it 'arf so well, and it made 'im pleased to think that Sam
was a pal of 'is. Him and Ginger turned and crept up behind the old man
on tiptoe, and then all of a sudden he tilted Sam's cap over 'is eyes and
flung his arms round 'im, while Ginger felt in 'is coat-pockets and took
out a leather purse chock full o' money.
It was all done and over in a moment, and then, to Ginger's great
surprise, Sam suddenly lifted 'is foot and gave 'im a fearful kick on the
shin of 'is leg, and at the same time let drive with all his might in 'is
face. Ginger went down as if he 'ad been shot, and as Peter went to 'elp
him up he got a bang over the 'cad that put 'im alongside o' Ginger,
arter which Sam turned and trotted off down the Hill like a dancing-bear.
[Illustration: "Let drive with all his might in 'is face. "]
For 'arf a minute Ginger didn't know where 'e was, and afore he found out
the two men they'd seen in the gateway came up, and one of 'em put his
knee in Ginger's back and 'eld him, while the other caught hold of his
'and and dragged the purse out of it. Arter which they both made off up
the Hill as 'ard as they could go, while Peter Russet in a faint voice
called "Police!" arter them.
He got up presently and helped Ginger up, and they both stood there
pitying themselves, and 'elping each other to think of names to call Sam.
"Well, the money's gorn, and it's 'is own silly fault," ses Ginger. "But
wotever 'appens, he mustn't know that we had a 'and in it, mind that."
"He can starve for all I care," ses Peter, feeling his 'ead. "I won't
lend 'im a ha'penny--not a single, blessed ha'penny."
"Who'd ha' thought 'e could ha' hit like that?" says Ginger. "That's wot
gets over me. I never 'ad such a bang in my life--never. I'm going to
'ave a little drop o' brandy--my 'ead is fair swimming."
Peter 'ad one, too; but though they went into the private bar, it wasn't
private enough for them; and when the landlady asked Ginger who'd been
kissing 'im, he put 'is glass down with a bang and walked straight off
'ome.
Sam 'adn't turned up by the time they got there, and pore Ginger took
advantage of it to put a little warm candle-grease on 'is bad leg. Then
he bathed 'is face very careful and 'elped Peter bathe his 'ead. They
'ad just finished when they heard Sam coming upstairs, and Ginger sat
down on 'is bed and began to whistle, while Peter took up a bit o'
newspaper and stood by the candle reading it.
"Lor' lumme, Ginger!" ses Sam, staring at 'im. "What ha' you been
a-doing to your face?"
"Me?" ses Ginger, careless-like. "Oh, we 'ad a bit of a scrap down
Limehouse way with some Scotchies. Peter got a crack over the 'ead at
the same time."
"Ah, I've 'ad a bit of a scrap, too," ses Sam, smiling all over, "but I
didn't get marked."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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