Egypt -- History -- 30 B.C.-640 A.D. -- Fiction; German fiction -- Translations into English
But Gorgo could not reply; she colored deeply and Apuleius vehemently
repeated his question: "Then you really are a Christian?"
She looked frankly in his face: "No," she said, "I am not; but I wish I
were."
The physician turned away with a shrug; but Gorgo drew a breath of
relief, feeling that her avowal had lifted a heavy burthen from her soul.
She hardly knew how the bold and momentous confession had got itself
spoken, but she felt that it was the only veracious answer to the
physician's question.
They spoke no more; she was better pleased to remain silent, for her own
utterance had opened out to her a new land of promise--of feeling and of
thought.
Her lover henceforth was no longer her enemy; and as the tumult of the
struggle by the breach fell on her ear, she could think with joy of his
victorious arms. She felt that this was the purer, the nobler, the
better cause; and she rejoiced in the love of which he had spoken as the
support and the stay of their future life together--as sheltering them
like a tower of strength and a mighty refuge. Compared with that love
all that she had hitherto held dear or indispensable as gracing life, now
seemed vain and worthless; and as she looked at her father's still face,
and remembered how he had lived and what he had suffered, she applied
those words of Paul which Constantine had spoken at their meeting after
his return, to him, too; and her heart overflowed with affection towards
her hapless parent. She knew full well the meaning of the deep lines
that marked his lips and brow; for Porphyrius had never made any secret
of his distress and vexation whenever he found himself compelled to
confess a creed in which he did not honestly believe. This great
falsehood and constant duplicity, this divided allegiance to two masters,
had poisoned the existence of a man by nature truthful; and Gorgo knew
for whose sake and for what reasons he had subjected himself to this
moral martyrdom. It was a lesson to her to see him lying there, and his
look of anguish warned her to become, heart and soul, a Christian as she
felt prompted. She would confess Christ for love's sake-aye, for love's
sake; for in this hour the thing she saw most clearly in the faith which
she purposed to adopt, and of which Constantine had so often spoken to
her with affectionate enthusiasm, was Everlasting Love.
Never in her life had she felt so much at peace, so open to all that was
good and beautiful; and yet, outside, the strife grew louder and more
furious; the Imperial tuba sounded above the battle-cry of the heathen,
and the uproar of the struggle came nearer and nearer.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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