"And reading on, but losing the thread of the poet's eulogy in the
golden fabric of my resurrected dream, it came to me to compare that
maid I knew in the long ago with the women I know to-day. Ah, gentlemen!
Lips, made but for smiling, fling weighty arguments on the unoffending
atmosphere. Eyes, made to light with that light that never was by land
or sea, blaze instead with what they call the injustice of woman's
servitude. White hands, made to find their way to the hands of some
young man in the moonlight, carry banners in the dusty streets. It
seemed I saw the blue eyes of that girl of long ago turned, sad,
rebuking, on her sisters of to-day. As I finished reading, my heart was
awhirl. I said to the young men before me:
"'There _was_ a woman, gentlemen--a woman worth a million suffragettes.'
"They applauded. The fire in me died down. Soon I was my old meek,
academic self. The vision had left no trace. I dismissed my class and
went home. I found that my wife--she of the black hair--had left my
slippers by the library fire. I put them on, and plunged into a pamphlet
lately published by a distinguished member of a German university
faculty. I thought the incident closed forever."
He gazed sorrowfully at the two young men.
"But, gentlemen, I had not counted on that viper that we nourish in our
bosom--the American newspaper. At present I will not take time to
denounce the press. I am preparing an article on the subject for a
respectable weekly of select circulation. Suffice it to record what
happened. The next day an evening paper appeared with a huge picture of
me on its front page, and the hideous statement that this was the
Professor Bolton who had said that 'One Peroxide Blonde Is Worth a
Million Suffragettes'.
"Yes, that was the dreadful version of my remark that was spread
broadcast. Up to the time that story appeared, I had no idea as to what
sort of creature the peroxide blonde might be. I protested, of course. I
might as well have tried to dam a tidal wave with a table fork. The
wrath of the world swept down upon me. I was deluged with telegrams,
editorials, letters, denouncing me. Firm-faced females lay in wait for
me and waved umbrellas in my eyes. Even my wife turned from me, saying
that while she did not ask me to hold her views on the question of
suffrage, she thought I might at least refrain from publicly commending
a type of woman found chiefly in musical comedy choruses. I received a
note from the president of the university, asking me to be more
circumspect in my remarks. Me--Thadeus Bolton--the most conservative man
on earth by instinct!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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