_Sergeant:_ “A shining example of the value conferred by an eminently careful and high class education”—— _Hyacinth:_ That was the National Schoolmaster. _Sergeant:_ “Devoted to the highest ideals of his Mother-land to such an extent as is compatible with a hitherto non-parliamentary career”—— _Hyacinth:_ That was the Member for Carrow. _Sergeant:_ “A splendid exponent of the purity of the race”—— _Hyacinth:_ The Editor of the _Carrow Champion_. _Sergeant:_ “Admirably adapted for the efficient discharge of all possible duties that may in future be laid upon him”—— _Hyacinth:_ The new Station-master. _Sergeant:_ “A champion of every cause that can legitimately benefit his fellow-creatures”—— Why, look here, my man, you are the very one to come to our assistance to-night. _Hyacinth:_ I would be glad to do that. What way can I do it? _Sergeant:_ You are a newcomer—your example would carry weight—you must stand up as a living proof of the beneficial effect of a high character, moral fibre, temperance—there is something about it here I am sure—(_Looks._) I am sure I saw “unparalleled temperance” in some place—— _Hyacinth:_ It was my mother’s cousin wrote that—I am no drinker, but I haven’t the pledge taken—— _Sergeant:_ You might take it for the purpose. _Mr. Quirke:_ (_Eagerly._) Here is an anti-treating button. I was made a present of it by one of my customers—I’ll give it to you (_sticks it in Hyacinth’s coat_) and welcome. _Sergeant:_ That is it. You can wear the button on the platform—or a bit of blue ribbon—hundreds will follow your example—I know the boys from the Workhouse will—— _Hyacinth:_ I am in no way wishful to be an example—— _Sergeant:_ I will read extracts from the testimonials. “There he is,” I will say, “an example of one in early life who by his own unaided efforts and his high character has obtained a profitable situation”—(_Slaps his side._) I know what I’ll do. I’ll engage a few corner-boys from Noonan’s bar, just as they are, greasy and sodden, to stand in a group—there will be the contrast—The sight will deter others from a similar fate—That’s the way to do a tableau—I knew I could turn out a success. _Hyacinth:_ I wouldn’t like to be a contrast—- _Sergeant:_ (_Puts testimonials in his pocket._) I will go now and engage those lads—sixpence each, and well worth it—Nothing like an example for the rural classes. (_Goes off, Hyacinth feebly trying to detain him._) _Mrs. Delane:_ A very nice man indeed. A little high up in himself, may be. I’m not one that blames the police. Sure they have their own bread to earn like every other one. And indeed it is often they will let a thing pass. _Mr. Quirke:_ (_Gloomily._) Sometimes they will, and more times they will not. _Miss Joyce:_ And where will you be finding a lodging, Mr. Halvey? _Hyacinth:_ I was going to ask that myself, ma’am. I don’t know the town. _Miss Joyce:_ I know of a good lodging, but it is only a very good man would be taken into it.