_Mr. Quirke:_ A family and a long family, big and little, like sods of turf—and they depending on a—on one that might be on his way to dark trouble at this minute if it was not for his assistance. Believe me, he is the most sensible man, and the wittiest, and the kindest, and the best helper of the poor that ever stood before you in this square. Is not that so, Mrs. Delane? _Mrs. Delane:_ It is true indeed. Where he gets his wisdom and his wit and his information from I don’t know, unless it might be that he is gifted from above. _Sergeant:_ Well, Mrs. Delane, I think we have settled that question. Mr. Halvey, you will be the speaker at the meeting. The lecturer sent these notes—you can lengthen them into a speech. You can call to the people of Cloon to stand out, to begin the building of their character. I saw a lecturer do it one time at Dundrum. “Come up here,” he said, “Dare to be a Daniel,” he said—— _Hyacinth:_ I can’t—I won’t—— _Sergeant:_ (_Looking at papers and thrusting them into his hand._) You will find it quite easy. I will conduct you to the platform—these papers before you and a glass of water—That’s settled. (_Turns to go._) Follow me on to the Courthouse in half an hour—I must go to the barracks first—I heard there was a telegram—(_Calls back as he goes._) Don’t be late, Mrs. Delane. Mind, Quirke, you promised to come. _Mrs. Delane:_ Well, it’s time for me to make an end of settling myself—and indeed, Mr. Quirke, you’d best do the same. _Mr. Quirke:_ (_Rubbing his cheek._) I suppose so. I had best keep on good terms with him for the present. (_Turns._) Well, now, I had a great escape this day. (_Both go in as Fardy reappears whistling._) _Hyacinth:_ (_Sitting down._) I don’t know in the world what has come upon the world that the half of the people of it should be cracked! _Fardy:_ Weren’t you found out yet? _Hyacinth:_ Found out, is it? I don’t know what you mean by being found out. _Fardy:_ Didn’t he miss the sheep? _Hyacinth:_ He did, and I told him it was I took it—and what happened I declare to goodness I don’t know—Will you look at these? (_Holds out notes._) _Fardy:_ Papers! Are they more testimonials? _Hyacinth:_ They are what is worse. (_Gives a hoarse laugh._) Will you come and see me on the platform—these in my hand—and I speaking—giving out advice. (_Fardy whistles._) Why didn’t you tell me, the time you advised me to steal a sheep, that in this town it would qualify a man to go preaching, and the priest in the chair looking on. _Fardy:_ The time I took a few apples that had fallen off a stall, they did not ask me to hold a meeting. They welted me well. _Hyacinth:_ (_Looking round._) I would take apples if I could see them. I wish I had broke my neck before I left Carrow and I’d be better off! I wish I had got six months the time I was caught setting snares—I wish I had robbed a church. _Fardy:_ Would a Protestant church do? _Hyacinth:_ I suppose it wouldn’t be so great a sin.