MR. BANKER: Yes, something is done to gold to make it money, and to circulate it as money. Just three things are done to gold to make it possible to circulate it as money. _First_, we have established a degree of fineness. The gold coin we circulate as money is nine-tenths pure gold, or nine-tenths fine, and one-tenth of cheaper metal. This is added to give it an increased hardness so that the loss by rubbing the gold against other things will not be so great. This loss is called the abrasion of gold. _Second_, we have established a unit of value in gold which is one dollar, composed of twenty-five and eight-tenths grains of gold, nine-tenths pure, or fine. _Third_, Uncle Sam here cuts up the gold into pieces as follows: he makes a two dollar and a half piece, which contains two and a half times as much gold as our unit of value and stamps each piece two and a half dollars. It is known as a quarter eagle, being one-quarter of the ten dollar piece which is called the eagle. He makes a five dollar piece which contains five times as much gold as our unit of value and stamps each piece five dollars. It is also known as a half eagle. He makes a piece which contains ten times as much gold as our unit of value and he stamps it ten dollars. It is also known as the eagle. He makes a piece which contains twenty times as much gold as our unit of value and stamps it twenty dollars. It is also known as the double eagle. This is called making coins, or coining money. These four gold coins constitute all the money there is in the United States, for Uncle Sam does not make pieces containing twenty-five and eight-tenths grains of gold, nine-tenths pure, or fine any more, and stamp them one dollar because this piece of gold was so small as to be inconvenient, indeed an actual nuisance. Uncle Sam stopped making these coins in 1890. UNCLE SAM: That is right, and I don't make any more gold pieces now containing fifty times as much gold as my unit of value for the same reason that I don't make any of the dollar pieces. A fifty dollar piece was found to be inconvenient and in a way an actual nuisance. MR. LABORINGMAN: Well, Uncle Sam, I would like to have a few of such nuisances, and if any of you fellows have any of these two nuisances, even the one dollar pieces about your persons, I wish you would allow me to relieve you of all you have of either kind. When it comes to getting rid of that kind of a nuisance, you don't seem to be in a hurry about it. However, just remember that I stand ready at all times to remove a nuisance of that kind, if it happens to be bothering any of you. MR. MERCHANT: We will remember that and give you the first chance. MR. LABORINGMAN: Well, you might as well forget it, for I'll never get the chance.