Shakespeare's Christmas, and other storiesQuiller-Couch, Arthur
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Shakespeare's Christmas, and other stories
Quiller-Couch, Arthur
English fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, English
"It's Mrs. Polwhele!" said my grandfather; "and by the noise of it
she's having hysterics."
And with that he scrambled up and ran; and Spry heaved himself over
the wall and followed. And there, in the south aisle, they found
Mrs. Polwhele lying back in a pew and kicking like a stallion in a
loose-box.
My grandfather took her by the shoulders, while Spry ran for the jug of
holy water that stood by the font. As it happened, 'twas empty: but the
sight of it fetched her to, and she raised herself up with a shiver.
"The Frenchman!" she cries out, pointing. "The Frenchman--on the coach!
O Lord, deliver us!"
For a moment, as you'll guess, my grandfather was puzzled: but he
stared where the poor lady pointed, and after a bit he began to
understand. I daresay you've seen our church, Sir, and if so, you must
have taken note of a monstrous fine fig-tree growing out of the south
wall--"the marvel of Manaccan," we used to call it. When they restored
the church the other day nobody had the heart to destroy the tree,
for all the damage it did to the building--having come there the Lord
knows how, and grown there since the Lord knows when. So they took and
patched up the wall around it, and there it thrives. But in the times
I'm telling of, it had split the wall so that from inside you could
look straight through the crack into the churchyard; and 'twas to this
crack that Mrs. Polwhele's finger pointed.
"Eh?" said my grandfather. "The furriner[4] that went by just now, was
it he that frightened ye, Ma'am?"
[Footnote 4: In Cornwall a "foreigner" is anyone from east of the
Tamar.]
Mrs. Polwhele nodded.
"But what put it into your head that he's a Frenchman?"
"Because French is his language. With these very ears I heard him
talk it! He joined the coach at Torpoint, and when I spoke him fair
in honest English not a word could he answer me. Oh, Calvin, Calvin!
what have I done--a poor weak woman--to be mixed up in these plots and
invasions?"
But my grandfather couldn't stop to answer that question, for a
terrible light was breaking in upon him. "A Frenchman?" he called out.
"And for these twenty-four hours he's been marking out the river and
taking soundings!" He glared at Arch'laus Spry, and Arch'laus dropped
the brazen ewer upon the pavement and smote his forehead. "The Devil,"
says he, "is among us, having great wrath!"
"And for aught we know," says my grandfather, speaking in a slow and
fearsome whisper, "the French ships may be hanging off the coast while
we'm talking here!"
"You don't mean to tell us," cried Mrs. Polwhele, sitting up stiff in
the pew, "that this man has been mapping out the river under your very
noses!"
"He has, Ma'am. Oh, I see it all! What likelier place could they choose
on the whole coast? And from here to Falmouth what is it but a step?"
"Let them that be in Judæa flee to the mountains," said Arch'laus Spry
solemn-like.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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