Manners and customs -- Fiction; Science fiction; Short stories
Dell's pale eyes were rebuking. "Amanda, how can you expect Kippie to
do that?"
She stepped back. "Kippie?" she said harshly. "Dell, that girl standing
there is Kathryn, our daughter--not Kippie."
"Don't let such little things upset you, baby. I'll go call
Replacements, and we'll all sit down together when Alice and Lester
come." He turned.
She seized his arm. "I will _not_ watch Lester," she said. "I will not
sit and stare at that big, gray-haired ape and pretend I'm in love with
him."
Dell frowned. "You don't really think he looks like an ape, do you,
baby? I was--well, thinking of changing my name to Lester."
Kathryn leaped to hug him. "Oh Daddy! It'll be so wonderful. Lester,
Lester, Lester! If we had an Alice and a Bass, we'd be almost like a
real family."
She stared at them. "I'd hoped to put you in a favorable frame of mind
for this, Kathryn," she said. "You'll remember that three years ago the
Watsons, next door, had Wall failure and couldn't get service until
morning. I invited them to watch our Wall."
Dell nodded. "Haven't seen them since, now that I think of it."
"You haven't. But tonight Mrs. Watson is lending me her son Gerald.
He's coming at seven."
"Mother!" Kathryn cried, releasing Dell. "How terrible! Gerald! What a
stupid name. I love Bass, and you can't take him away from me."
"That wasn't very nice, was it, Amanda?"
"It's done," she said. "He's twenty-two, and I want you to talk to him,
Kathryn."
Kathryn scowled.
"And I've arranged for you to go over to their house to watch Alice, if
you must, Dell."
Dell forgot he was indignant. "Well, Kippie, maybe this one time you
can do as your mother wants," he said. "Surely Bass won't mind if you
miss him this once. He's an understanding sort of chap."
Kathryn thought for a moment, scowling. "All right, I'll do it--if
you'll call me Kippie, Mother."
Amanda studied her. "All right--Kippie," she said finally.
* * * * *
After agreeing reluctantly not to call Replacements until Gerald had
come and gone, Kippie wriggled into a Kippie-like position and poked
her finger deep into her cheek again.
Gerald, who arrived promptly at seven, wore his light hair combed
into a Bass-like curl low over his forehead. He speared Amanda with a
penetrating stare, making her shiver as she led him to the Wall room.
Kippie sulked angrily on the Wall seat.
Amanda introduced them, and they looked at each other, their glances
revealing no interest.
"You're trying to comb your hair like Bass," Kippie accused.
Gerald grinned. "Sure thing, sweetie-bug."
"Then you should dye it. It's the wrong color. Bass doesn't have blond
hair. And why is your name still Gerald? Don't you ever want to be
Bass?"
Gerald looked slapped. "I tried. Honest, I really did. But you know
there's a limit, and the man at the bureau said there were too many
Basses already." His face brightened. "But my parents call me Bass all
the time."
"Oh."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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