French fiction -- 19th century; Sand, George, 1804-1876
"And then there is a scourge at Spezzia: I mean the mosquitoes, bred by
the stagnant waters of a small pond near by and of the vast marshes,
possession of which the hand of the husbandman disputes with the waters
of the sea. Here there is no water on shore to annoy us; we have only
the sea and the bare rock, consequently no insects, and not a blade of
grass; but such golden and purple clouds, such sublime tempests, such
solemn calms! The sea is a picture which changes in color and feeling at
every moment of the day and night. There are chasms here filled with
uproars of which you cannot conceive the terrifying variety; the sobbing
of despair, the imprecations of hell, seem to have appointed a meeting
there, and, from my little window, at night, I hear those voices of the
abyss, sometimes roaring a nameless bacchanalian refrain, sometimes
singing wild hymns, awe-inspiring even in their mildest form.
"And I love all this now, I who always cherished rustic tastes and a
love for tranquil little green nooks. Is it because in that fatal
love-affair I became accustomed to storms and to a craving for tumult?
Perhaps so. We women are such strange creatures! I must confess to you,
my own beloved, that many days passed before I could accustom myself to
the absence of my daily torment. I did not know what to do with myself,
having nobody to wait upon and nurse. Palmer would have done well to be
a little overbearing; but observe my injustice: as soon as he showed
signs of being so, I rebelled, and now that he has become as kind as an
angel once more, I don't know how to deal with the horrible ennui that
assails me now and again. Woe is me! that is the truth.--And must I tell
you? No, it is better that I should not find out myself, or if I do,
that I should not grieve you with my madness. I intended to write of
nothing but the country, my walks, my occupations, and my dull chamber
under the roof, or rather on the roof, where I take pleasure in being
alone, unknown, forgotten by the world, with no duties, no customers, no
business, no other work than that which it pleases me to do. I get
little children to pose for me, and I amuse myself arranging them in
groups; but all this will not satisfy you, and if I don't tell you where
I stand with regard to my heart and my desires, you will be more anxious
than ever. Very well; it is a fact that I have fully decided to marry
Palmer, and that I love him; but I have not yet been able to make up my
mind to appoint a time for the marriage; I fear for him and for myself
the morrow of that indissoluble union. I have passed the age of
illusions, and after such a life as mine one has had a hundred years of
experience and consequently of terrors! I believed that I was absolutely
severed from Laurent, and so, in fact, I was, at Genoa, on the day that
he told me I was his scourge, the assassin of his genius and his glory.
But now I no longer feel so entirely independent of him; since his
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account