French fiction -- 19th century; Sand, George, 1804-1876
"You know me well enough, or, better still, you remember enough about
me, to be sure that I reclaim these pledges of a former attachment for
none of those prudential reasons which occur to women when they cease to
love. If you had any suspicion of such a thing, I need do no more to
justify myself than remind you that these pledges have remained in your
hands for ten years, and that I have not once thought of asking you for
them. I should never have made up my mind to do it, had it not been that
another woman's happiness was jeopardized by the existence of those
papers."
Lionel gazed steadfastly at Lavinia, watching for the faintest
indication of bitterness or chagrin produced by the thought of Margaret
Ellis; but he could not detect the slightest change in her expression or
her voice. Lavinia seemed to be invulnerable.
"Has this woman changed to diamond or to ice?" he asked himself.
"You are very generous," he said, in a tone which expressed both
gratitude and sarcasm, "if that is your only motive."
"What other can I have, Sir Lionel? Will you kindly tell me?"
"I might presume, madame, if I were inclined to deny your
generosity,--which God forbid!--that personal motives are behind your
wish to recover possession of these letters and this portrait."
"It would be a little late for me to think of that," laughed Lavinia;
"surely, if I should tell you that I had waited until this late day
before having _personal motives_,--that was your expression,--you would
feel terribly remorseful, would you not?"
"You embarrass me extremely, madame," said Lionel; and he said these
words composedly, for he was on his own ground once more. He had
expected reproaches, and was prepared for an attack; but he had not that
advantage; the enemy instantly changed her ground.
"Come, come, my dear Lionel," she said, smiling, with a glance of
genuine kindness which was entirely unfamiliar to him, who had known
only the passionate side of her nature, "don't be afraid of my abusing
the opportunity. Common-sense has come to me with years, and I have long
understood that you were not blameworthy with regard to me; I was
blameworthy toward myself, toward society, and perhaps toward you; for,
between two lovers as young as we were, the woman should be the man's
guide. Instead of leading him astray among the paths of a false and
impossible destiny, she should preserve him for the world by drawing him
to her. I did not know how to do anything right; I raised innumerable
obstacles in your life; I was the cause, involuntary, to be sure, but
imprudent, of the prolonged shrieks of malediction that pursued you; I
had the horrible agony of seeing your life threatened by avengers whom I
disavowed, but who rose up against you, despite my disavowal; I was the
torment of your youth and the curse of your manhood. Forgive me; I have
fully expiated the wrong I did you."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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