The chill of the hall, as he emerged, struck into his flesh, a polar
blast. Like an animal he scurried to the bed and crawled under cover,
shaking convulsively. His watch ticked upon the bed-post. Presently he
was burning--as if hot cloths were quickly being renewed upon his flesh.
Yet instantaneously upon lifting the cover, the chill would seize him
again. Finally he squirmed his head about until he could see his watch.
Two-fifteen, it said. Manifestly, this was a lie. He had not wound the
thing the night before, though its ticking filled the room. He recalled
that when he was drinking, frequently he wound his watch a dozen times a
day, or quite as frequently forgot it entirely. At all events, it was
lying now. Thoughts of the whiskey he had poured out, of the drugs in
the medicine-case, controlled. He needed a drink, and nothing but
alcohol would do. This is the terrible thing. Without endangering one's
heart, it is impossible to take enough morphine to deaden a whiskey
reaction. A little only horrifies one's dreams. There is no bromide. He
cried out for the poison he had washed away from his veins. This would
have been a crutch for hours. In the normal course of bodily waste, he
would not have been brought to this state of need in twenty-four hours.
He felt the rapping of old familiar devils against his brain. He needed
a drink.
The lights were turned on full in his room. The watch hanging above his
head ticked incessant lies regarding the energy of passing time. He
could lose himself in black gorges of agony, grope his way back to find
that the minute hand had scarcely stirred.... He lay perfectly rigid
until a wave, half of drowsiness, half of weakness, slowed-down the
vibrations of his mind.... Somewhere in the underworld, he found a
consciousness--a dank smell, the dimness of a cave; the wash of fins
gliding in lazy curves across the black, sluggish water; an _eye_,
green, steadfast, ashine like phosphor which is concentrated decay,--the
eye of rapacity gorged. His nostrils filled with the foreign odor of
menageries and aquariums. A brief hiatus now, in which objects altered.
A great weight pressed against his chest, not to hurt, but to fill his
consciousness with the thought of its cold crushing strength; the weight
of a tree-trunk, the chill of stone, the soft texture of slimy flesh....
Full against him upon the rock, in his half-submerged cavern, lay the
terror of all his obsessions--the crocodile. Savage incarnations were
shaken out of his soul as he regarded this beast, a terror so great that
his throat shut, his spine stiffened. Still as a dead tree, the creature
pressed against him, bulging stomach, the narrow, yellow-brown head,
moveless, raised from the rock. This was the armed abdomen he feared
most--cruelty, patience, repletion--and the dirty-white of nether
parts!... He heard the scream within him--before it broke from his
throat.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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