MRS. HARDCASTLE. Now I wonder a girl of your good sense should waste a thought upon such trumpery. We shall soon find them; and in the mean time you shall make use of my garnets till your jewels be found. MISS NEVILLE. I detest garnets. MRS. HARDCASTLE. The most becoming things in the world to set off a clear complexion. You have often seen how well they look upon me. You SHALL have them. [Exit.] MISS NEVILLE. I dislike them of all things. You shan’t stir.--Was ever anything so provoking, to mislay my own jewels, and force me to wear her trumpery? TONY. Don’t be a fool. If she gives you the garnets, take what you can get. The jewels are your own already. I have stolen them out of her bureau, and she does not know it. Fly to your spark, he’ll tell you more of the matter. Leave me to manage her. MISS NEVILLE. My dear cousin! TONY. Vanish. She’s here, and has missed them already. [Exit MISS NEVILLE.] Zounds! how she fidgets and spits about like a Catherine wheel. Enter MRS. HARDCASTLE. MRS. HARDCASTLE. Confusion! thieves! robbers! we are cheated, plundered, broke open, undone. TONY. What’s the matter, what’s the matter, mamma? I hope nothing has happened to any of the good family! MRS. HARDCASTLE. We are robbed. My bureau has been broken open, the jewels taken out, and I’m undone. TONY. Oh! is that all? Ha! ha! ha! By the laws, I never saw it acted better in my life. Ecod, I thought you was ruined in earnest, ha! ha! ha! MRS. HARDCASTLE. Why, boy, I AM ruined in earnest. My bureau has been broken open, and all taken away. TONY. Stick to that: ha! ha! ha! stick to that. I’ll bear witness, you know; call me to bear witness. MRS. HARDCASTLE. I tell you, Tony, by all that’s precious, the jewels are gone, and I shall be ruined for ever. TONY. Sure I know they’re gone, and I’m to say so. MRS. HARDCASTLE. My dearest Tony, but hear me. They’re gone, I say. TONY. By the laws, mamma, you make me for to laugh, ha! ha! I know who took them well enough, ha! ha! ha! MRS. HARDCASTLE. Was there ever such a blockhead, that can’t tell the difference between jest and earnest? I tell you I’m not in jest, booby. TONY. That’s right, that’s right; you must be in a bitter passion, and then nobody will suspect either of us. I’ll bear witness that they are gone. MRS. HARDCASTLE. Was there ever such a cross-grained brute, that won’t hear me? Can you bear witness that you’re no better than a fool? Was ever poor woman so beset with fools on one hand, and thieves on the other? TONY. I can bear witness to that. MRS. HARDCASTLE. Bear witness again, you blockhead you, and I’ll turn you out of the room directly. My poor niece, what will become of her? Do you laugh, you unfeeling brute, as if you enjoyed my distress? TONY. I can bear witness to that. MRS. HARDCASTLE. Do you insult me, monster? I’ll teach you to vex your mother, I will. TONY. I can bear witness to that. [He runs off, she follows him.]