MARLOW. I protest, my very good sir, that is no fault of mine. If they don’t drink as they ought, they are to blame. I ordered them not to spare the cellar. I did, I assure you. (To the side scene.) Here, let one of my servants come up. (To him.) My positive directions were, that as I did not drink myself, they should make up for my deficiencies below. HARDCASTLE. Then they had your orders for what they do? I’m satisfied! MARLOW. They had, I assure you. You shall hear from one of themselves. Enter Servant, drunk. MARLOW. You, Jeremy! Come forward, sirrah! What were my orders? Were you not told to drink freely, and call for what you thought fit, for the good of the house? HARDCASTLE. (Aside.) I begin to lose my patience. JEREMY. Please your honour, liberty and Fleet-street for ever! Though I’m but a servant, I’m as good as another man. I’ll drink for no man before supper, sir, damme! Good liquor will sit upon a good supper, but a good supper will not sit upon----hiccup----on my conscience, sir. MARLOW. You see, my old friend, the fellow is as drunk as he can possibly be. I don’t know what you’d have more, unless you’d have the poor devil soused in a beer-barrel. HARDCASTLE. Zounds! he’ll drive me distracted, if I contain myself any longer. Mr. Marlow--Sir; I have submitted to your insolence for more than four hours, and I see no likelihood of its coming to an end. I’m now resolved to be master here, sir; and I desire that you and your drunken pack may leave my house directly. MARLOW. Leave your house!----Sure you jest, my good friend! What? when I’m doing what I can to please you. HARDCASTLE. I tell you, sir, you don’t please me; so I desire you’ll leave my house. MARLOW. Sure you cannot be serious? At this time o’ night, and such a night? You only mean to banter me. HARDCASTLE. I tell you, sir, I’m serious! and now that my passions are roused, I say this house is mine, sir; this house is mine, and I command you to leave it directly. MARLOW. Ha! ha! ha! A puddle in a storm. I shan’t stir a step, I assure you. (In a serious tone.) This your house, fellow! It’s my house. This is my house. Mine, while I choose to stay. What right have you to bid me leave this house, sir? I never met with such impudence, curse me; never in my whole life before. HARDCASTLE. Nor I, confound me if ever I did. To come to my house, to call for what he likes, to turn me out of my own chair, to insult the family, to order his servants to get drunk, and then to tell me, “This house is mine, sir.” By all that’s impudent, it makes me laugh. Ha! ha! ha! Pray, sir (bantering), as you take the house, what think you of taking the rest of the furniture? There’s a pair of silver candlesticks, and there’s a fire-screen, and here’s a pair of brazen-nosed bellows; perhaps you may take a fancy to them? MARLOW. Bring me your bill, sir; bring me your bill, and let’s make no more words about it.