She Stoops to Conquer; Or, The Mistakes of a Night: A ComedyGoldsmith, Oliver
General
She Stoops to Conquer; Or, The Mistakes of a Night: A Comedy
Goldsmith, Oliver
Comedy plays
HARDCASTLE. I saw him grasp her hand in the warmest manner myself; and
here he comes to put you out of your IFS, I warrant him.
Enter MARLOW.
MARLOW. I come, sir, once more, to ask pardon for my strange conduct.
I can scarce reflect on my insolence without confusion.
HARDCASTLE. Tut, boy, a trifle! You take it too gravely. An hour or
two’s laughing with my daughter will set all to rights again. She’ll
never like you the worse for it.
MARLOW. Sir, I shall be always proud of her approbation.
HARDCASTLE. Approbation is but a cold word, Mr. Marlow; if I am not
deceived, you have something more than approbation thereabouts. You
take me?
MARLOW. Really, sir, I have not that happiness.
HARDCASTLE. Come, boy, I’m an old fellow, and know what’s what as well
as you that are younger. I know what has passed between you; but mum.
MARLOW. Sure, sir, nothing has passed between us but the most
profound respect on my side, and the most distant reserve on hers. You
don’t think, sir, that my impudence has been passed upon all the rest
of the family.
HARDCASTLE. Impudence! No, I don’t say that--not quite
impudence--though girls like to be played with, and rumpled a little
too, sometimes. But she has told no tales, I assure you.
MARLOW. I never gave her the slightest cause.
HARDCASTLE. Well, well, I like modesty in its place well enough. But
this is over-acting, young gentleman. You may be open. Your father
and I will like you all the better for it.
MARLOW. May I die, sir, if I ever----
HARDCASTLE. I tell you, she don’t dislike you; and as I’m sure you
like her----
MARLOW. Dear sir--I protest, sir----
HARDCASTLE. I see no reason why you should not be joined as fast as
the parson can tie you.
MARLOW. But hear me, sir--
HARDCASTLE. Your father approves the match, I admire it; every
moment’s delay will be doing mischief. So--
MARLOW. But why won’t you hear me? By all that’s just and true, I
never gave Miss Hardcastle the slightest mark of my attachment, or even
the most distant hint to suspect me of affection. We had but one
interview, and that was formal, modest, and uninteresting.
HARDCASTLE. (Aside.) This fellow’s formal modest impudence is beyond
bearing.
SIR CHARLES. And you never grasped her hand, or made any
protestations?
MARLOW. As Heaven is my witness, I came down in obedience to your
commands. I saw the lady without emotion, and parted without
reluctance. I hope you’ll exact no farther proofs of my duty, nor
prevent me from leaving a house in which I suffer so many
mortifications. [Exit.]
SIR CHARLES. I’m astonished at the air of sincerity with which he
parted.
HARDCASTLE. And I’m astonished at the deliberate intrepidity of his
assurance.
SIR CHARLES. I dare pledge my life and honour upon his truth.
HARDCASTLE. Here comes my daughter, and I would stake my happiness
upon her veracity.
Enter MISS HARDCASTLE.
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