TONY. You do, do you? then, let me see--what if you go on a mile further, to the Buck’s Head; the old Buck’s Head on the hill, one of the best inns in the whole county? HASTINGS. O ho! so we have escaped an adventure for this night, however. LANDLORD. (apart to TONY). Sure, you ben’t sending them to your father’s as an inn, be you? TONY. Mum, you fool you. Let THEM find that out. (To them.) You have only to keep on straight forward, till you come to a large old house by the road side. You’ll see a pair of large horns over the door. That’s the sign. Drive up the yard, and call stoutly about you. HASTINGS. Sir, we are obliged to you. The servants can’t miss the way? TONY. No, no: but I tell you, though, the landlord is rich, and going to leave off business; so he wants to be thought a gentleman, saving your presence, he! he! he! He’ll be for giving you his company; and, ecod, if you mind him, he’ll persuade you that his mother was an alderman, and his aunt a justice of peace. LANDLORD. A troublesome old blade, to be sure; but a keeps as good wines and beds as any in the whole country. MARLOW. Well, if he supplies us with these, we shall want no farther connexion. We are to turn to the right, did you say? TONY. No, no; straight forward. I’ll just step myself, and show you a piece of the way. (To the Landlord.) Mum! LANDLORD. Ah, bless your heart, for a sweet, pleasant--damn’d mischievous son of a whore. [Exeunt.] ACT THE SECOND. SCENE--An old-fashioned House. Enter HARDCASTLE, followed by three or four awkward Servants. HARDCASTLE. Well, I hope you are perfect in the table exercise I have been teaching you these three days. You all know your posts and your places, and can show that you have been used to good company, without ever stirring from home. OMNES. Ay, ay. HARDCASTLE. When company comes you are not to pop out and stare, and then run in again, like frightened rabbits in a warren. OMNES. No, no. HARDCASTLE. You, Diggory, whom I have taken from the barn, are to make a show at the side-table; and you, Roger, whom I have advanced from the plough, are to place yourself behind my chair. But you’re not to stand so, with your hands in your pockets. Take your hands from your pockets, Roger; and from your head, you blockhead you. See how Diggory carries his hands. They’re a little too stiff, indeed, but that’s no great matter. DIGGORY. Ay, mind how I hold them. I learned to hold my hands this way when I was upon drill for the militia. And so being upon drill---- HARDCASTLE. You must not be so talkative, Diggory. You must be all attention to the guests. You must hear us talk, and not think of talking; you must see us drink, and not think of drinking; you must see us eat, and not think of eating. DIGGORY. By the laws, your worship, that’s parfectly unpossible. Whenever Diggory sees yeating going forward, ecod, he’s always wishing for a mouthful himself.