Sheppard Lee, Written by Himself. Vol. 1 (of 2)Bird, Robert Montgomery
General
Sheppard Lee, Written by Himself. Vol. 1 (of 2)
Bird, Robert Montgomery
American fiction -- 19th century; Satire
I found on my books the records of all imaginable operations, from the
_mem_. of a thousand shares of the Moonlight Manufacturing Company,
bought of A. B. on time, to the entry of "Mrs. C. D.'s silver spoons and
pitcher, _purchased_" (Abram Skinner scorned all dealing on _pawns_,
that being illegal to the unlicensed) "at such a sum, but redeemable at
such another sum, which was generally at fifty per cent. advance, on a
certain day, or--forfeit." Here was a memorandum of a note bought at
half its value, there of a mortgage taken in form of a purchase; and in
other places a thousand other forfeitures, such as marked the extent
and universality of business, the skill, the forethought, and the
success of Abram Skinner the shaver.
I have my compunctions when I think of the life I led that winter; for
so long did I continue the life of a money-maker. But I entreat the
reader to remember that I had got into Abram Skinner's body, and that
the burden of my acts should be therefore laid upon his shoulders. A
swearing gentleman once borrowed a Quaker's great-coat, with a promise
not to dishonour it by any profanity while it was on his back; upon
returning it to his friend, he was demanded if he had kept his promise.
"Yes," said the man of interjections, with one of the most emphatic;
"but it has kept me lying all the time." I never heard anybody doubt
that the lying was the fault of the coat; and, in like manner, I hope
that the reader will not hesitate to attribute all my actions, while in
Abram Skinner's body, to Abram Skinner's body itself.
Besides my friends of the honest fraternity, I had other visiters
before my infirmities permitted me to leave the house; and the dealings
I had with them, besides enabling me to get my hand in, as the saying
is, would afford the reader, if described, some insight into the
excellences of my new character.
But I cannot pause over such pictures in detail. The rulers then over
us, to please the poor, had got up a pressure in the money-market,
whereby the poor were, as is usual in such cases, put under
contribution by the rich. Such a pressure, however, may be said to
please everybody, though it puts everybody in a passion. To the
rich, who have money to lend, it is as great a season of jubilee
as a rain-storm to ducks, or a high wind to the bristly herd in an
apple-orchard, and they are in a passion because they fear it will
be soon over; to the poor, who borrow their money at a higher rate
than usual, it affords an opportunity to rail at the aristocracy, and
the grinders of the poor; which is a pleasing recreation after a bad
dinner. At such times Abram Skinner was a happy man, for he made money
without the trouble of stirring from his house: every knock at the door
was the signal of a god-send; every jerk at the bell was as the jingle
of coming dollars and cents.
CHAPTER II.
SHEPPARD LEE'S FIRST HIT AT MONEY-MAKING.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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