Sheppard Lee, Written by Himself. Vol. 1 (of 2)Bird, Robert Montgomery
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Sheppard Lee, Written by Himself. Vol. 1 (of 2)
Bird, Robert Montgomery
American fiction -- 19th century; Satire
But one who lives at Heaven's gate does not live in Heaven, as the
saying is. Old Goldfist kept neither horses nor carriages, nor did he
give parties: I doubt whether he ever asked anybody to dine with him
in his life; and as for his boys and his girl, all of whom were grown
up, he kept them in such a mean condition that they were not company
for genteel people. Everybody despised them, especially Cutclose the
tailor, who turned up his nose at them, and called them rooterers,
which, I am told (for I never troubled myself to study the modern
languages, there being so many of them), is a French word signifying
_low people_.[1]
[1] Perhaps _roturiers_. Rooterers is, however, good America French
--Printer's Devil.
This old money-maker, who had a stoop in the shoulders, used to
parade the street up and down before his own door every sunshiny
day, in a thread-bare brown coat, to which he sometimes added a blue
spencer roundabout, a silver-headed stick in one hand, and a yellow
handkerchief in the other. The latter he was wont every two or three
minutes to clap to his nose, producing thereby an explosion, which,
notwithstanding the muffler over his nostrils, was prodigiously strong
and sonorous; and once, to my knowledge, it frightened a young lady
into the gutter.
I could say a great deal more of this old gentle man, whom everybody
despised, but whom every man took off his hat to, on account of his
wealth; but I shall have occasion to speak of him hereafter.
As for the rest of my neighbours, I do not think them worthy of notice.
I might, indeed, except Mr. Periwinkle Smith, my opposite neighbour,
spoken of before, whom I knew to belong to that order of aristocracy
which is emphatically termed chip-chop, and who was of such pure blood
that it had known no mechanical taint for three different generations,
the nearest approach to such disgrace being found in a family of
ragamuffins, who claimed to be Mr. Smith's relations, merely because
they were descended from his grandfather, but who were very properly
discountenanced by him.
This old gentleman had a daughter who seemed to be universally admired,
judging from the numbers of visiters of both sexes who besieged her
father's door every morning. To do her justice, I must say she was very
handsome; but she had the additional merit of being an only child, and
therefore an heiress, as was supposed. I thought so myself, until Tim,
who knew something of everybody's affairs, assured me that her father's
estate was eaten up by mortgages, that he was poor as a rat, and would
die insolvent.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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